* - P I N - U P S - "

Sound Engineer:  Hey Blind Melon.  That thing of yours is so long I’m not sure we can get it all in on the Album Cover

I’m looking over – my Dead Dog Rover – who was hit with a power lawn mower

One leg is missing – the other is Gone -  another is plastered all over the lawn

No need explaining the one leg remaining is spinning on the car port floor

I’m looking over my dead dog Rover, that I overlooked before

John Arbuckle:  Garfield – quiet playing with whatever you’re piddeling with in the corner and come over me and help me assemble this Computer.  Garfield, have you seen the Mouse?

Garfield:  Mouse?  What Mouse?  I didn’t eat no Mouse.

Nobody loves me everybody hates me – that’s why I eat worms

First you pull their heads off – then you pull their tails off

Then you suck their insides out

You better not laugh when the corpse goes by

For if you do you’ll be sure to Cry

They’ll wrap you up in a bloody sheet

And put you in a hole – six feet deep

All goes well till about a week

Then your bones start to creak

The worms go in – the worms go out

They turn your guts into sour Krout

I shot Santa Clause - - yeah I shot Santa Clause - -

I caught him before his midnight run

And said “I’m going to take away all the Kiddies' fun

And then I gave him the Gun – I shot him

“Allright, Rudolph – Give me some Hoof”

“Take it – Mickey”

What would you do if you saw Marilyn Monroe in the bathtub?

“Rubber balls and Liquor”

What’s the difference between Marilyn Monroe and a Rooster

One says “cock-a-doodle-do” and the other says “Any cock will do

Eat every carrot and pea on your plate

What did you have for breakfast?

Pea green soup

What did you have for lunch?

Pea Green Soup

What did you have for dinner?

Pea green Soup

What did you do all night?

Pee green soup

G I P Funny

In 1864 - - My Daddy went to War

He pulled the trigger – and shot a Nigger

And that was the end of the War

On top of spaghetti – all covered with cheese

I lost my poor meat ball – when somebody sneased

It rolled off of the table – and on to the floor

And then my poor meat ball – rolled out of the door

It rolled out into the garden - - and under a bush

And now my poor meat ball – is nothing but moosh

Hey Guy, have you met Jack?

Guy:  You mean – Jack Tracy?

No – Jack Meoff

Jack and Jill were riding on an Elephant

Jill got off and helped Jack off the Elephant

When Isac saw Rebecca, he lit off his Cammel

I was fifth grade – you were fourth grade – when we came to Be

“Be WHAT?”

“I know what I am but who are You?

Cerca 1988:   Kathy:  Endora do you want to change the baby?

Endora: “Change him into What?”

Rex Mc Leod:  Guy, how come girls don’t have hair on their chests?

Guy: I don’t know

Rex: Because playgrounds have grass.

You have stranded me at the gas station of life and now I’m forced to use the self service pump.  And I’d rather dive naked into a swimming pool filled with razor blades than spend One More Minute - - with You.

I wish I was a little rock a sitting on a hill

A doing nothing all day long but just a sitting still

I wouldn’t eat – I wouldn’t sleep

I wouldn’t even Wash

But just sit and rest myself – a thousand years by gosh

Zachery stood at the far end of an ice hockey rink from the opposite goal aiming at the puck and somebody asked him, “I hear your Brain has turned to Stone.  Is that so”  Zachery says “Pretty much – except for the loose rocks that are still Rolling around, but at least they no longer have Jagger edges.  You know who else was a big ice hockey fan- - T L”  “Wow- - really?  I knew Travel Lodges were getting more elaborate these days but now each one has their own Ice Hockey rink, huh?  Zachery:  “Now, watch this drive”.  Zachery hit the puck with the hockey stick and it became airborne and went over the fence of the Coo Coo’s Next and landed squarely in Nurse Rachett’s mouth where it was stuck and she couldn’t get it off for three hours.  She says it’s the worst three hours of Hell she’s ever experienced, not being able to talk.

The alligator said to George Bush - - “You know me and Governor Perry never did see eye to eye on things and I’m glad he’s gone.  And I don’t entirely trust Mittens but maybe these next three months I can properly prepare him for an appearance at the Convention in Tampa.  And Ricky is complaining about having to go back to the Santorum in San Barnadino.  He says it’s really the Pitts, and besides, he says – “On the Inside I can’t even get a Philly steak sandwich”.

Jim Morrison sent Stu Baby an E mail offering condolences as to the loss of Junior Sayou because Bones isolized him as a football hero.  He said “It’s been a long time since I’ve been in your neck of the woods and maybe I could come and pay you a visit and maybe attend any Junior Sayou memorial dinners if you want to organize anything like that.

Jimmy Mc Culloch met up with Mick Ronson saying “Those were sure the breaks - - with your big Demotion and all.  Mick responded with “You know we’ve known each other a long time since 1975 when we were both still Alive.  How are Venus and Mars doing?  Jimmy:  Oh, Mars is still chewy and delicious and Venus is still looking for her shield and mirror according to Alex.  Say if you don’t mind my asking what sort of gentleman is your former boss Mal Evans.  Mick Ronson:  “He’s not a bad sort really - - if he could just get over that God fixation thing.  Jimmy Mc Culloch:   Yeah well the crowd I hang around with says Mal Evans is just a myth anyhow because none of them actually have never seen him or know what he looks like, like the Wizzard of Oz”.

Mark Germain: People talk about Steely Dan songs, but I’m beginning to think the band is a myth because I’ve never actually met a guy who owned a Steely Dan album”.

Sir Guy, “Well, you’ve obviously never met Me”

Tonight’s performance of Seven Tricky Pieces will be dexterously performed tonight by the renound pianist - - Shrouder - - and as always the lovely Ms Van Pelt will be in the front row cheering him on.  Here is a bit of Trivia for you but back in 1961 the part of Lucy was being played by Denise Robinson.  Shrouder’s hair piece is generously provided by Surfer Joe Whigs, a division of Countess Wilimina Cosmettics.

Pete Richards:  So your name is Denise.  (not the same one as above)  I guess you’re my new client.  I hear that you’ve been having relational problems with your Mother.  We’re going to work on that.  You know that Reverend buy says that you need to “Shake your daughter pretty”.  Well – you look like you’ve been put in a paint mixing machine”.  Denise: “I’m sure there is a complement buried in their somewhere”.

The Preacher says:  “It’s time to tell your limp wristed son to Man Up - - and give him a punch in the mouth as you remind him that he’s a blessed creation of God”.

In the money draw line Sir Guy stood impatiently behind Mickey, and Richard Moore was just behind him in line.  Sir Guy turns to Richard Moore and says “You know, to be fair about it, I believe you come ahead of me in line”.  Richard says, “Oh that’s OK, you’re obviously more in a hurry to get your money than I am”.  Sir Guy:  No, it’s just that the guy in front of me smells like a dead animal.  I sure hope for his sake that isn’t his usual scent.  He needs to be scrubbed down and Acid Washed.  The Acid might help his brain think more clearly anyhow.  Then Mickey speaks:  “I know what it’s like to be dead”.  Guy:  “You what? - - - Really?””  Mickey:  “I know what it’s like to be dead”.   Guy: “You know after being this close to you I think I can actually believe that”  Mickey:  “I know what it’s like to be dead”.  Guy:  You better get yourself another groove. You’re stuck.  Mickey, “I know what it’s like to be dead”.  Guy:  “Oh really?  Then say hello to Bob Guyer while youre there, as well as Richard Powers and Rose, and Jackie”.  Micky again speaks:  “You know those other three you named should have made video tape records of their lives like Bob Guyer did when Dr. Levy gave them all the chance, something to pass on to their grand kids to understand the times a little better:  Guy:  (flabberghasted)  How the Hell did you know about that Tape?  It was made before you ever Got here?  Mickey:  “Ancient Chinese Secret”.  Guy:  “Richard - - you’re Sure you don’t want to cut ahead of me in line?”

Bluebird is Dead.

But Burt took the dead bird and painted it Electric blue in the classical tradition of his people in mourning the Dead, and also to honor Robin’s passing the other day.  That was one gregarious woman.  Das Ist Alles.