WHAT MALCOLM X MEANS TO ME

Tomorrow is Malcolm X's birthday and Bill Press once had a radio segment dedicated to making Malcolm X's birthday a holiday. Malcolm Little was born on May 19th 1925. I believe he is the most intelligent and articulate Black leader we have ever had. According to some accounts Malcolm's father was a white man who raped his mother. Actually the whole "X" thing denotes that Malcolm is disowning his family name and lamenting is host African heritage. They didn't have abortions back then and one wonders how many rabid crusaders for abortion rights are rape victims. I wonder how many mothers abandon their children in trash cans. I suppose the more humaine ones would put the child out for adoption, if they don't give too many details. I guess if Malcolm's father was white that a racist might say that he got his drive and brains from his father. Malcolm X was born in Omaha, Nebraska. The events of his childhood, including his father's lessons concerning black pride and self-reliance, and his own experiences concerning race played a significant role in Malcolm X's adult life. By the time he was thirteen, his father had died and his mother had been committed to a mental hospital. I don't know about you but I get annoyed why certain people, and I have one person in mind, poke around in your family history and "make it up as they go along" and get facts wrong, as they bring out the big tar brush. I do have doubts about my own family history. I have unanswered questions about certain things, but they are MY doubts. It's MY business and not that of this other in-law. Sometimes I don't think my Mom showed proper respect to my Dad. On the other hand my Dad was not exactly a "stand up guy". Her philosophy as with so many women is, "It's hard to find a good man". People have to live with all sorts of realities in their life. If Laura has any children now I'm sure she'll have to explain to them her own past. People can be really judgemental about the strangest things as they pidgeon hole you. After living in a series of foster homes, Malcolm X became involved in a number of criminal activities in Boston and New York City. In 1946, Malcolm X was sentenced to eight to ten years in prison.

Prison is the hotbed of so many whacko ideas from the Aryan Brotherhood to born again evangelists. Depending on the area there are radical organizations eager to recruit you. It's kind of a thing in prison that you better have friends from "somewhere" and be a part of some tough group. While in prison, Malcolm X became a member of the Nation of Islam, and after his parole in 1952 he became one of the Nation's leaders and chief spokesmen. For nearly a dozen years he was the public face of the controversial group. Tension between Malcolm X and Elijah Muhammad, head of the Nation of Islam, led to Malcolm X's quitting the organization in March 1964. First of all Elijah Mohamed may have great in his time but times change and call for a different type of speaker. When John Kennedy was shot Malcolm X gave the famous speech about America's violence has come back upon itself and "The chickens have come home to roost". Elijah Mohamed had told Malcolm to keep silent on this issue. Then he put him under some sort of "disciplinary action" and "submission" and he then accused Malcolm of failure to "submit". He subsequently traveled extensively throughout Africa and the Middle East and founded Muslim Mosque, Inc., a religious organization, and the secular Organization of Afro-American Unity, which advocated Pan-Africanism. Less than a year after he left the Nation of Islam, Malcolm X was assassinated by three members of the group while giving a speech in New York. It's possible that Malcolm may have paid a call on "Father Divine" the way Jim Jones did. Malcolm gave numerous speeches on specific instances on police brutality. Many believe that the Nation of Islam was working with the FBI at the time and so that our own government was culpable in the death of Malcolm on February 21, 1965. We do know that Elijah Mohamed was a philanderer and that Malcolm was faithful to his wife. Malcolm hated the hypocracy, and I can't help but make comparrison to Jim Jones. Both Elijah and Jones had vastly inflated egoes.

The beliefs expressed by Malcolm X changed during his lifetime. As a spokesman for the Nation of Islam he taught black supremacy and deified the leaders of the organization. He also advocated the separation of black and white Americans, which put him at odds with the civil rights movement, which was working towards integration. Let's clarify this. Malcolm taught Black autonomy and that Islam would help the Black man achieve a little pride, even if he did have to give up pork, which seems like a sacrifice I wouldn't want to make. Unlike King, Malcolm didn't believe in whining to the government for the next handout or being a pawn in somebody's political game. After he left the Nation of Islam in 1964, Malcolm X became a Sunni Muslim, made the pilgrimage to Mecca and disavowed racism, while remaining a champion of black self-determination, self defense, and human rights. Let me say that you don't hear about your garden variety Sunni Moslem these days. This is the sect the majority of the world's peace loving Moslems belong to. He expressed a willingness to work with civil rights leaders and described his previous position with the Nation of Islam as that of a "zombie". As you know I call myself "The Malcolm X of Christianity" for this very reason. You have to be in an almost zombie like state to propagate the religion "they" tell you you have to teach, and to disagree on even minor points is a grave sin. It's a but incorrect to say that "Malcolm became a different person". He was adopting to the times- which were a Changing. My guess, and it's only that, is that Malcolm always believed there would come a time when White and Black would work in harmony together, if in nothing else to overthrow the government. But the thing is when you are an oppressed minority, be it Irish, Italian, or Jewish, the survival instinct of your people kicks in and you want to make sure the perimiter is well defended. After the enemy has laid down their arms, then you can think about negotiating. (Selah)

This may be the coolest May we have had since May of 1982, and a psychic predicted that cool spring and she hit pay dirt. Of course it was early May of 1982 when we sent that piece to the media predicting the whole future from that year out to the year 2112 and there was not a rapture in the whole thing as I recall, or perhaps in 2040. And they a spiritual revival was predicted on earth. As you know during “right now” the earth is supposed to be in a war not with any named nation but “Alcyonne”, which was later amended to Iran. Isaac Newton predicted that the law of gravity itself would be done away with in the year 2061. However I have since learned Newton got that date from Religious people he was surrounded by. The Federation still clings to that date. In terms of this coming Sunday, it’s supposedly “World Peace Day” and you know how these Christians hate peace. They don’t agree whether “the end” will be on Saturday or on Sunday. Let’s just hope it’s after they run the Preakness. I had to miss the Kentucky Derby. I looked at all those Google entries and they are all a big bunch of nothing. It wasn’t till I wasted time looking at these sites I realized what a Big bunch of nothing it really was. It’s silly for evangelists to take the sucker’s money. Hell, if you really believe that Saturday at 3:00 eastern time is the date, then spend every cent you have and go into debt. God won’t condemn you for being an asshole, just as long as you’ve said the magic words at the altar. ABC news is coming on now so I’ll end this now.

A little boy takes on Stephen Hawking saying that he’s been to heaven. They are so desperate to fill a half hour of news now. It’s all re-hashed repeats. You hear the same stories repeated again and again in an echo machine. I got coffee from Dana around six. I haven’t gotten my medication again. It really doesn’t matter. I’m not one of those who is going to start drewling and climbing the walls if I don’t get my pills.

We had pork chops for dinner and rice and carrots, with tapioca pudding for desert. You know, if they keep trying to put new people at our table I’m going to suggest to Loretta we move somewhere else. Andy always seems to have a hangover or something and the other floating seat has gotten some weird clients lately. Actually I’d like to see Brenda back in that seat, but for some reason she’s been more distant.

I put the clothes away just after lunch. We had beans and franks and three bean salad, and Loretta gave me her bean salad. We had cantaloupe. Randy Rhodes was on and I listened to her at noon and at two. I went for coffee in the afternoon.

The soap opera is plumbing new depths of boredom. I missed most of Monday’s episode but didn’t even endeavor to make it up because this whole week has been one big waste. It used to be they had sweeps month on TV in May but the past few years I haven’t noticed that. I had Judge Pirro on at three lying on the bed and not caring how bored I was getting. Dr. Levy says he wants me to write something new for him but I’ve given him a lot of good stuff already and he’s used very little of it. I got John Black grape at the liquor store earlier today.

Newt Gingrich is running into tough sledding in his short lived campaign. His wife has a fondness for jewelry. Newt is drawing fire from Republicans for his remark against “right wing social engeneering” and now he’s being forced at gun point to back off and march in lock step. And now he has alienated the gay vote because some protestors covered him with glitter today. Just go to arts and crafts class for that. I went down for medication from Sarah and got chocolate chip cookies.

Eleven year Colton, a crew cut boy, says that he’s been to heaven and has met Jesus and two of the apostles, Peter and John. He was ill when he was four and he had a near death experience. When he came back he says he knew things he hadn’t known before such as his mother’s miscarriage. The father says “He gave me assurance my little girl is waiting for me”. Stewart just told me “Peter and John were MY disciples and not Jesuses and they don’t even get along that well.” 75% of the population believes in heaven but they don’t’ know if it’s a real place or just “spiritual”. (Imaginary?)

SOMETHING BIGGER THAN OURSELVES

Today Thom Hartman had a creationist guy on his show. It seems that in New Jersey Governor Christie, who may yet run for President despite denials, is trying to institute a policy where creationism is taught as science. Thom Hartman mentions Hindu myths about the world being created from the heart of a lotus flower. The escamoes teach that whales and seals and something else are the hands and fingers of some under sea god who was dismembered. Others speak of a turtle riding on the back of an elephant. Then you have the Christian version where God created the earth according to Bishop Usher on October 23rd of 2004 B C at nine o clock in the morning. But as Lisa Simpson would say, "It isn't science" and shouldn't be taught as such. Science is in the business of challenging and supplanting charished old beliefs. Religion is only interested in reinforcing them. The two are incompatable. A scientist lives by observation and investigation. And when a scientist proposes an idea it is a proposition or a hypothesis. A hypothesis is different than a belief. One is pursued and investigated and challenged. The other is reveranced and put in a golden bird cage to be viewed on special occasions by pilgrims. The only time a scientist will venture into the unknown is an area where he has absolutely no facts. Then he begins looking for facts. You say a Super Force is responsable for the Big Bang? Then prove it. Hartman talked about string theory and mathematical formulas possibly leading to a different theory of the origen of the universe. He spoke of "Universe bubbles suspended in form". I don't believe that - - but if scientists want to try and prove that, fine.

Euclid once proposed poly-dimensional space. Taking a cue from polygons, poly means more than three. In a four dimensional world, certain things can be deduced. For instance the overall "encompassment" of four dimensional space can be acertained by multiplying by all four dimensions. Other things are more difficult like counting the faces on a ninety degree cube. I have a formula for this not seen in any textbook devised a couple years back. It involved the triangulation or "choose 2" for Google fans, times one less dimension. That would give you eighteen faces for a four dimensional cube and forty for a five and 75 faces for a six dimensional cube. But how many dimensions does Volume have in a four dimensional world? This is a trick question because the word Volume pertains to three dimensions. How many Volumes in a three dimensional object? There is but one. But for a four dimensional object you just might take the progression of choose 3 instead of choose 2, and then multiply by TWO less than the dimension. In this case the second in progression is four and you'd times it by two less number dimensions which would give you eight Volumes in a four dimensional object. Obviously nobody has gone to a four dimensional world to test this thesis. Of course in my 3, 2, 1 theory we have but three dimensions of space, two of Time, and one of "mind energy" or whatever. You see, we don't know and we have to guess and postulate. This is what a scientists does. He postulate and tests. He comes to a conclusion or finding. It might be a FACT. He hopes it's a FACT. But as Hartman points out Science unlike Religion has not always been "Perfect" and therefore unlike religion, spared the necessity of ever changing, Science expands the sphere of overall knowledge and in the process increases the general enlightenment and "Welfare" of mankind.

Addendum to last paragraph: Last night after I posted this blog a few minutes I got a strong vibe. Some reader out there took strong exception to the whole thing about cubes, because I had said according to my theory nine lines should connect a cube. But as you know if you have ever done graphics in BASIC it takes twelve lines to connect all the points in a cube. It takes twelve lines to connect eight dots. However one can connect all the dots to at least "describe" the cube by just using nine dots, as my theory suggests. That is all the dots are connected, the top pannel and the bottom pannel, and one line to deliniate the distance between the two. [As of nine o clock this morning I know Thom Hartman has not read this posting. Now there is a figure that is a doubled tetrahedron, which indeed would be connected by NINE lines to all of its five dots. Were the corner angles of said triangles 45 degrees from a side 2 D view one would view the object as a square polygon. A single tetrahedron is the carbon atom, on which carbon tetrachloride, or instance, is based on. ]As you know by my theory 1 times 1 = 1. One dimension has one line. 2 times 2 = 4 and for two dimensions it takes four lines to connect four dots for a plane. In terms of the eighteen sided cube, I'm not good enough in solid geometry (of visual imagination) to count all the lines in the thing, but there may be a reader who is smart enough to "visually count the lines". As you know in a letter to my brother and I guess here, too, I said that an octohedren, otherwise known as a double pyramid, uses six dots to make eight faces whose edges touch the 3 D sphere. The number of connecting lines would also be twelve here. I have a whole BASIC program dedicated to constructing the perfect Pyramid. In other news, I guess it's a sign some likes you or at least enjoys your company when they begin inviting you to events you would not normally attend. I'd like to know what Thom Hartman thinks of these last two postings. Do I have something or not?

In terms of the earliest civilization of the planet in terms of culture such as agriculture when man moved from the "hunting and gathering" phase when he needed those Hyperactive genes, now he moved to agriculture where this was no longer an advantage. He said it was ten thousand years ago at the end of the last ice age. That's awfully recent. I always heard man has been agricultural for 50,000 years rather than ten. And as you know I have postulated that there was some High Civilization some 13,000 years ago when the Pyramids were built and perhaps other relics like a Biminy Stones in the Bahamas. It could be there was a brief ice age spurt that killed off this golden era. As you know the Sphynx represents Leo the Lion, and some say it was built when the sun entered the sign of the Lion at the time of the vernal equinox as known by the precession of equinoxes and the 26,000 year "grand circle" the north pole traces in the heavens like a spinning top. I had a book called the Secret Passage of the Lion I learned a lot from. This was a Mormon publication, but they were sly about admitting that. Gene Scott has said that the Bible speaks of pre Adamic "Cities" but that they wern't inhabited by humans as we known them because the word in Hebrew is "dwelling places" alluding to super human beings. Some even on the radio program this morning say the human race was "seeded" from an outside force and this is why mankind suddenly made such a cultural leap forward. The gap theory in Genisis makes note of the Hebrew word AND, which other places is translated "Now- - " or "After this" or "Then- - " and the like. Also the word WAS is in the "preterate" tense and not in the "imperfect" tense. If you've studied Spanish you know they have two different past tenses. Which meqans the word "WAS" actually translates as "Became". Gene Scott believes this. Chuck Smith also subscribes to this Genisis gap theory. But unfortunately this book, and "Flashbacks" by Timothy Leary and many others were torched by a roommate on October 8th. 1987 nine months to the day before you know who was born. And you wondered why we called it "Phoenix". You know, coming alive from the ashes and all?

We used to be visited by the neighbor's cat called Willis. Cats have their own ideas about who they like to hang out with. Willis was just a kitten when he first started coming around in mid 1969 and liked to climb up the back door screen and get stuck. Every time I hear the song "Little Willy Won't Go Hope" I think of him. Well a couple of years later Willis fathered "Bo" a cat who our family at first and just me at the end had as a pet for just over thirteen years. Some may think the "Bo" we mentioned a few postings back had to do with the cat, Bo. I'm not precluding that possability. I'm not about to conclude which spirits do or don't pervaid the bodies of our pets. But Thom Hartman talks about Higgins all the time. Well Willis had one of the best purrs of all time, that "golden throat sound". Willis was a yellow cat or "topaz" as I call it. I used to like to record his purrs. The little girl next door came over to watch Bo and it's brother Al being born. Pete Richards named both cats after two friends of his in a band he played in, who were brothers. Pete said "Al' was short for "Albert" but I later saw the brother's human counterpart name on a record album and he was called "Alex". I asked and he said "Albert is the name of the cat, but Alex is the name of the ex band member." It was a small two kitten litter because the mother "Squeak" was really young at the time. She also invited her best friend from accross the street, too. In 1979 the first girl saw me walking along as she was riding her bicycle in the "Sunkist" neighborhood. She said she was nineteen. I asked her "guess how old I am now" and she said, "28". I was astounded at her accurecy.

AS A TRUE 'ROMANIC' - - I'M A LIBERAL

It was Harry Green who said in a lone sermon in November 1965 about the End Times, that "You know there is just as much a probability as retro-gression in our future as there is in continued advancement". In the light of the past thirty years of the governmental and economic mess his words have proved prophetic in a way that might surprise even him. You know, the most dreaded thing that progressives, who don't want to take us back to the stone age, the thing we have in common is the dreaded fear of being labeled with the "L" word- - - Liberal. And yet in truth, as Hartman says today, this country was founded by wise men of the liberal Enlightenment. George Washington said "I hope to ever see America in the forefront of liberality". Now we hear that from our first President, America granted charity to poor people in the DC district. This continued through James Madison. He being the one who actually wrote the constitution once said "I fail to lay my finger on the line of the Constitution by where we can do this". Madison didn't want government messing with the opperation of churches in any manner. Of course in Latin, as we learned on Jeopardy last night, "Liber" is the word for Liberal in Latin. The whole term of "Liberal Arts" is basically "an education that any free man ought to have". Of course Aristatle referred to slaves as "household implements". That's a nice euphamisum. But in the Spanish (and in Romulan) the word for "Free" is "Libre". Liberalism and Liberty mean Freedom. And since when were conservatives against Freedom? I don't know. Freedom or Liberty or "Liberality" is the founding hallmark of this Nation. Now of course courts are passing decisions granting police increased search and ceisure powers. But the revelations of this morning are not new to me. I've seen these Cops episodes where the PD gets some phone call there is a loud argument next door. And then the police come to the house and the husband approaches the door and says to the officer "Everything is fine", and refuses to let the officers in. In my own understanding of Law Enforcement- - police have to let you alone unless they have either some kind of a warrent, leagally granted- - or there is an "exigent situation" where they hear screaming and someone is being stabbed or something. But in the case of this Cops show the police officers said to each other "This man is under the erronious idea that we won't knock down the door if he doesn't let us in", which is just what they did.

Well the Republican list of Presidential candidates is still as clear as mud at this point. Michelle Bachman still hasn't decided. But Donald Trump said that he would not run. Of course Randy Rhodes must have some Romulan in her because Romulans use the tern "the" in front of a name in denotation of Respect. Anyhow, the Donald decided he would just stick with his TV show and not be incumbered by all the legal hassles he'd face if he ran for President. So in reality the whole candidicy really was a joke. And Mike Huckibee won't be running. He says "All of the facts tell me I should run- - but my Heart tells me otherwise". I suspect there are somehow more pragmatic considerations for his not running. Suddenly Sarah Palin, who didn't even place in the polls of nine or ten people a few months ago- - has almost moved into first place. She's so vain I think she just might run because she's so basically stupid she doesn't care what kind of an ass she'll look like. I'm sticking to my prediction that the gold bugs out there who think owning Gold will save them will be in for a nasty surprise in a few months. Knowing Boehner's propensity to pull a boner- - the republicans just might stall long enough on raising the debt ceiling that it could cause real credit and economic hassles. They say that they want a dollar for dollar deal where they'll raise the ceiling if Obama cuts a budget by the same amount- - and they would logically split the difference. Don't count on that happening. I don't know how much further the President is prepared to go to placate the republicans- - he's been pushed so far to the right already. He's opened up all these new oil fields for drilling- - and thrown progressive energy designs out the window. The way demographics work, if we aren't adding jobs fast enough we're really losing jobs. If we truely get into a deflationary spiral it won't save anything, and that includes Gold and Silver. As one seasoned investor once said "Sometimes you just have to buy when it hurts in the pit of your stomach". The same advice goes for selling.

Well, California's governator, Arnold Swartzenegger is a daddy again. He fathered a ten year old boy by his housekeeper, who worked in the home ten years in the shadow of of his wife all that time and she never knew. Well you know Marlon Brando fathered children in to the early nineties having several by his housekeeper. The calendar 'nineties that it. So some people are able to get it up at an advanced age. Of course now Randy Rhodes is wondering whether Newt Gingrich might have a few little unclaimed "nuticals" out there. I hope she knows that word usually refers to something else. The scandal the Governor finds himself in is what they call a "moderate" sexual scandal because he didn't proposition a man in the men's toilet or have sex with congressional boy pages. Of course as for me, I don't have the excuse of having undergone prostate surgery or anything for my own apparent lack of interest in sex. I've often said that around here you pretty much have to be into "sex with your mother' or else into pedophelia. And even if you do see a sexually attractive woman you think ahead, "What if I'm not able to perform when the moment arrives?" and so you end up thinking "why bother?" It's kind of like being hot and tired from walking around a theme park all day and someone hands you a Diet Coke, and you drink it and don't get the expected sugar buzz and somehow you feel cheated. It's the medication they give you, in part. Personally I could go for a major boost in testesterone, like they advertize. But they now say that artificial hormones for either man or woman increases your chance of getting cancer. It's like Dr. Dean Edell says, "Don't take mega vitamins, because you're just feeding the cancer cells". Judy takes strong exception to that. E W N just said that drinking a lot of coffee protects you from prostate cancer. Now I feel better. My doctor today just wanted to schedule a blood test. They aren't always forthcoming in what they test for.

Dr. Levy showed the film "Awakenings" in class a week or so ago and apparently the movie is a true story about events that occurred in a hospital ward for victims of an encephelitus epidemic that occured back in the 'thirties. By 1969 some of them had been in a vegetative state on that ward for thirty years. The nurses referred to it as the "feed and water" section. But then the doctor came up with the link to their condition by examining their reflexes- - to Parkinson's disease. So he proscribed first one patient named Lennard be given the L-dopa compound. And he recovered. So he gave it to the whole ward, and they recovered. And they were again able to experiance the joys of life and even went out dancing and things. At this point I left the room figuring the movie was almost over. I figured the next move would be to testify before congresss or the FDA or something to get the drug approved for this condition on a nation wide basics, and then perhaps at the end of the film to announce that this disease had been eradicated from the land. That didn't happen. Rose told me the sad truth during coffee break that afternoon. I was stunned. All of the patients, starting with Lennard, began regressing, and in the end - - ended up just as they had started, in a virtual Terry Shivo vegetative state. Many patients had frozen expressions as if they had been zapped in the middle of a sentense. I just happened to think there is some lesson here about gaining Freedom, if only for a short time, kind of like Prague Spring in 1968, or the whole Hippy phenominon in general. It kind of makes you think about - -what if God pulled you out of this life to experiance a brief while in Heaven, having total enlightenment, and again you went back into this life and forgot it had ever been any other way. One would hope some remnent of memory of the moment would somehow linger.

We now come to this while "end of the world" thing on May 22nd, which comes this Sunday that doomsters on the right have been predicting these past couple of years. I've told you that for me death is "something I don't want to risk" if I've got the choice. This separates me from a lot of Christians who say they are "prepared to go when the Lord calls them". There was this Ozzie and Harriet episode where Ozzie was in this play where he had to play the front end of a mule in this play, and someone offered to swap parts with him sight unseen- - and Ozzie thought about it and he thought about the guy playing the donkey's ass, and said "I don't want to chance it". You could end up as some peasent in Africa in some disease ridden nation in the middle of some national strife or genocide. You could be in Iraq with warring factions from both sides shooting at you, and each suspecting you are secretly in cahoots with the other. You could be some alien blob organism from another planet where the laws of physics may not even appear to apply. Or as Stephen Hawking says "You could be like an expired computer circuit and once you go- - that's it. There is no more". It dawned on me that I don't even know God. How could I? We've never met. I thought of the Raphael Hernandez thing on Days of our Lives. The real Raphael is jealous because Samantha had sex with the phoney Raphael. How could Sammy know? I got to thinking, "Is it a defense to say I DIDN'T KNOW"? It didn't work for the Germans at Nurremburg. But I got to thinking about it, and like Jethro Bodine got my giant brain and six years of education working on it and I came to the conclusion. NO. No, you are not responsible for what you had no way of suspecting. (And even if you did suspect, your so-called loved ones are telling you it's all in your mind) If God says at the Judgement "No, Marcus, I'm not that Asshole personage you imagined that I was. You should have trusted me, you should have known" then I will say "You know- - you like the fake Raphael want me to go from A, where someone said they think you exist, to Z. when you ask the question, "Will you Die for me?", and somehow skip all the steps inbetween, when (pardon the metaphor) -all you're looking for is a piece of ass". You are trying to suspend the rules of normal human conduct, just like the fake Raphael, thinking you can cheat and somehow not pay the price. And I would quote the Bible saying "The Holy Spirit is a down payment in kind, of what is to come" and conclude "The Holy Spirit has done nothing but treat me like Crap there on earth. Not to put too fine of a point on it but it resembles the treatment Bob Dylans's girlfriend in the song "Long Time Gone" gave him. So what expectation did I have really of things being fundamentally different here?" You know if I've never met God, then we should be introduced. "I should say, Hello- - What's your name? How old are you. Where did you go to school. What University did you get your degree from?" And after we've gotten to know each other a little better we can decide if we want to have a relationship. And then like E J and Nicole we can work out the details of the obligations of what each party has the right to expect from the other."And For God to tell me "You should have known" begs the logical conclusion. I DIDN'T know- - and if God knows all about me already he KNOWS that I didn't know, and it would be an insult to his intelligence to suppose I did. Ergo, maybe I'm still not talking to God. Well this is all rather interesting but it's academic, because there will be no rapture on Sunday. Some people believe the world will end in a firey, horrific manner that don't necessarily believe you can quantify that belief or set up a time-table for it by using the verses from the Bible, or Astrology. I know at least one person who thinks this way. "The future's uncertain and the End is always near". They're ringing the dinner bell. I gotta go.

'LET THE DUMB CLUCK BAIL HIMSELF OUT'

- SIGNED, THE OLD WAR HORSE

-Agnes Moorhead

There are only two episodes of "Bewitched" where a spell was never cancled. One was on that tightwad guy who suddenly began spending money. Samantha had overhead the wife saying "I don't know what's gotten into my husband but I hope it never wears off" - so she decided to Leave It On. The other was the fact that artificial grass can never be zapped into their yard. Of course you know what President Eisenhaur said on election night in 1960 before the polls had closed out west don't you? He said "Like an old war horse smelling the smoke of battle, I just couldn't keep quiet". That's like me with this file. There is stuff in the last file I feel a compulsion to clarify a bit but before we get there we're going to take you on a little Acid Trip. So grab a hold of your saddle horn because "Gypsey Lou is back doing it again". Captain Piccard has a saying that applies with this file, "In for a penny - in for a pound". I'm like a cat that's just killed a bird. But he won't eat it but just picks around with the carcus, playing with it. Of course it's worse when the bird isn't dead yet. Do you like music? Well there is a lot of music discussed in this file- - real AND imagined. It's just like that old Camaflogue game on channel 7 when I was a kid and they promoted it as "Can you win by identifying something that's right before your eyes?" The truth is out there- - we've just taken elaborate steps to desguise it. Like the saying in The Wall, "You'll just have to claw your way through my desguise". Or as Paul Lynne put it once, "You know, I have to be honist with you- - behind this clown face- - - Is another face!" And he would just keep pealing off face after face driving Darren to frustration no end.

In mid summer of 1981 I used the alias "White Horse Productions" on some of my mailings I claimed to be from Henry (as in "Henry the Horse") or perhaps from the song 'Mr. Crowley". Of course I've used a lot of aliases such as "Assylum Earth Evangelical Project", or maybe it was Burt alias Nick Ronson who came up with that one. Then there was the BBC in late Dec 1980, which stood for "Baal Berith Confederation". Then there was CREAM for "Committee for the Removal of Evangelical Assholes from the Media". Mark came up with that one. And then there was an old one, ZEBRA. I'm not gona tell you what that one means but when I told my Dad what it was he said "It sounds like some organization advocating sexual relations with animals". Hey, it might be a good gag on a night talk show. Also the term "White Horse" dates back to the time of my Romulan friends. (here's that imaginary part I was talking about) A White Horse Souse was the last CMK album that Richi Vallenz worked on in early August of 1973 before he left and struck out on his own. The term was not original with us, but was taken from one of those old "Bloopers" albums of gaffs o old f radio announcers, instead of "A White House Source". Of course I talked a lot about Richi Vallenz and other Romulans and the whole bit quite a lot back- -well, I'll tell you - my WORD files underwent a transformation back around the first of July in 2004 and I have referred to this period in blogs. This is the era when I wrote the "Moon Shot" file I've shared with you - - that fictional story. This "transformation" in my writings that summer of 2004 is something I can't explain but just before it happened, Marlon Brando died. But I don't think there is any causality. But just a little more about Richi Vallenz and FH, two good Romulan friends- - - FH was a singer who did a number of songs that remind me a little of John Lennon. The ones that stick out in my mind are "You Better Move On", "That girl is Mine" and "Do You Want My Love?(or are we through). Richi with FH singing, and Black Bart on drums did a version of "Well, Well, Well" (from the Lennon album) that never made it on a CMK album that was better than the original with a lot of fantastic overdubbed guitar playing. The very first time Black Bart was used as a drummer for Richi was a recording of the Yardbirds B side "Got To Hurry" I think was the name, that can be found on the Crossroads CD compilation - - which was the last song ever that Eric Claptin played on. Our version was actually better than the Yardbirds version because the engineering was better, but the guitar playing was every bit as good, and actually raised higher in the mix. But this song never appeared on a CMK album either.

Just call this PINK FLOYD kind of file. I remember the first Pink Floyd song I heard, it was in September of 1967 and it was "See Emily Play" and I thought "This group is too far out for me". Are there any Yoco Ono fans out there? How to you feel about "John, John, Let's Hope for Peace" from the Live in Torranto album? A couple of better freak-outs than that are "Free Form Guitar" on Chicago's first album and "Tacotta" by Emerson, Lake and Palmer. In terms of my own history with playing in Rock Bands, it's apallingly limited. Back in early 1965 I was invited by a friend to join a band called "The Morticians". "But I don't have a guitar" I said. The friend said, "I've heard you sing. You can be our lead singer". I didn't join. Then there was that impromptu group that played at a Christian pool party in June of 1987. Henry kind of organized that. If you know Henry in my writings he's almost always associated with something bad. We rehearsed a number of songs with me on the Porta Tone keyboard. The trouble is when we got there we began playing songs we hadn't rehearsed. Henry had tried to pull a fast one on me to embarrass me. But guess what? I was able to figure out the chord progressions almost instantaniously, and played right along. And then there was that short lived band, if you can call it that in August of 1967, that I was in with Pete Richards and Larry Mc Needly. Pete and Larry had been in another band months earlier called The Ants. I really wanted th call this new group "The Boston Tea Party" but thought there was another band by that name already. The music we did pressed the freakedelic limits- - and in my mind it was uniquely innovative. But I don't have those tapes any more I don't think. They might be in Bill Gunderson's garage- - - but I think there was some weak moment at my Mom's house when I said she could throw the reel to reel stuff out because I would never be able to play it. So I'm not really sure.

Finally we come to the reason for this Concert. You know- - I don't mind giving an Imcomplete impression- - but it bothers me when I give a Wrong impresssion. I usually like to carefully "sculpt" what I write so that it "makes just the right statement". But last Sunday I was caught up in this whole John Lennon thing and I think I invariably gave the impression that after I got married I lost all interest in the rock band I was in and regarded playing in it as drudgery. This was not the case. Although I will confess to a little dread at going back to that old BOSC neighborhood after I was settled in another house. It was kind of akin to going back and visiting your old high school after you've started college. It kind of seemed a step backwards. Actually it was about the first of May of 1981 when Jim and Henry talked about this wayward home for teenage girls that was up a couple block in our tract. I don't know how they came to know them but I had dinner at that house a couple of times. I remember all the Martha and the Vandellas records. Anyhow at the time Jim was a bass player in this band. (He did not play lead guitar as I say in snail mail) In fact I'm not sure how good of guitar player Jim really was. I don't recall being very impressed with him when he played accoustic guitar around the house. Henry also owned an accoustic guitar but I never heard him play it. If I ever played I still used that old electric guitar I got for Christmas in 1966. By now the pick-up was getting a little flakey, but I managed, or maybe I replaced it. I don't remember. Any how - - the lead singer who also played a guitar left the band and there was an opening for a rhythm guitarist and a singer. I could do both but I couldn't play lead such as you'd care to hear. The real power house behind the band was the lead guitarist, who was a big, burly fellow. Henry was friends with the drummer. It was the drummer who told me they had thought of calling themselves "The Dead Lennons" only they were worried other people had already used that name. (I imagine there are quite a few) I sang mostly AC DC stuff and a lot of Black Sabbath and the like. I don't think we ever had a paying gig, but we did play a few free engagements. I wanted to call the band "Ozzy Osmossis and the Gro-Lux Band" after artificial lighting used to grow pot, but that never caught on.

(Roll Kettle drum) I was married Friday August 14th. I may share these details later but not today. It was very soon after that that Jim Cooper announced he was quitting the band because he thought that kind of music was incompatable with his newfound Christianity he "had decided to get serious about". Any time you hear "getting serious about the LORD - Look out". Hell, I said- - we can play without a bass player. Then of course the dog got sicker. The last outing to the park we took with Toby was on September 16th of 1981. I believe the group consisted of Pete and his new girlfriend - and myself, and Vicky, and perhaps Jeane Hayse. The girlfriend has met my Mom and neither one liked the other. My mom regarded her as kind of a scitzoid flake who was syrupy sweet one minute and cold and distant the next. This is an oppinion I heartily second. Anyhow soon after that I lost my job in landscaping. I immediately sough out another job. I went down for a job in Anaheim City Hall in some clerical capacity but I never heard back. I applied for a job working at the Montgomery Ward in Fullerton [correction was made here] as a cashier but the guy immediately said my hand writing wasn't legable enough for the job. I associate this interview with the song "Hoover Factory" by Elvis Costello. I had just recently baught that album and I bought a B O C album at the same time- - I think it was "Fire of Unknown Origen". Anyhow I went to CETA for a job- - but they were either closed down or would be within a day or two. Chalk that up to Reaganomics. On October 12th 1981 me and Pete Richards took the dog Toby to the Vet"s to have the dog euthanized. The doctor said that Toby probably had leishions on the brain and it was pretty hopeless. As far as the band was concerned- - now the lead guitarist quit the band, too, but he did give a week's notice so we could play some gig. Then there was just me and the drummer. And Henry urged the drummer to quit. About this time I wondered if Mark Campbell might want to join the band in some capacity. He has such an excellent speaking voice I told him "I bet you could really sing good with a little practice". But as brash as Mark is for making shocking statements in private, on this occasion he was suddenly as shy as a thirteen year old girl on her first date. He turned me down, but also told the drummer not to listen to Henry and stay with the band and get some other members. I appreciated Mark's vote of confidence. But the band broke up. I was now out of a job as well as out of a hobby- - - and the memory of a dead dog. It was early November when my TV began acting "possesed" and the picture would whig out. But every time I'd take it in to have a guy look at it he'd say "Gee, the TV works fine in the shop. Maybe it's your electric current there". So a lot of times I'd go to the BOSC house to watch TV. Jim was the one who began calling Toby, "Tobosc". After the dog died Jim shortened it to BOSC. There were now boscs living at the BOSC house. Often Jim would put an OSC at the end of a girl's name as a term of endearment, as if to say "I regard you as one of us." So there would be Sylviosc, and Dilliosc, and Gloriosc. And believe it or not we've come to the end. Hope you like this file.

LIVING IN THE MATERIAL WORLD

I guess it was Ozzie Nelson who said on an episode “The world is too much with us”. That would make an excellent essay for Dr. Levy. The trouble is when Dr. Levy has all these sessions on ones aspirations in life, he routinely ignored the Elephant in the room. By the way yesterday for lunch we had grilled cheese sandwiches with carrot salad and grapes for desert. I just thought I’d throw that in. One has to keep oneself in balance, You need to learn lessons from the past, if you can, without becoming obsessed by it. But I’ve been thinking lately, “You know, in a way I’ve got it pretty good around here. I no longer have the money problems I had the past two years, and I really do have friends and stuff around here.” And when I have one of these nightmares like I just had last night I wake and think “Thank God it wasn’t reality”. I was in some really dusty Motel room with bed bugs and other creepy-crawlies, and there were these rats that were crawling all around the room and I kept brushing them off my covers. And there was some party going on and I was out there for a while but told them I was tired and had to go to work the next day- - and when I finally did get into bed there were all the rats and cobwebs and whatever and there was still all the noise that I couldn’t shut out.

Last night it was the usual Mc Laughlin report. I’ve been smoking too many cigarettes. I find that cigarettes are excellent for “quieting brain chatter” and when I try to give up cigarettes for two long I become obsessive-compulsive and there is all this “stuff” in my mind. Anyhow did you know we were headed for a double dip recession? There are telling us for the umpteenth time that we are only this time they act like they really believe it. If it were so this really would be the worst economic recession of the past eighty years. Anyhow I was watching Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune and other stuff on TV followed by the ABC Disney movie. But in my mind a bunch of memories from the 2^nd half of 1981 came crashing back into my mind with stunning clarity- - as I went through them one by one sorting out causes and motives. Some say this “Pandoras Box” of events was unleashed by my buying the El Dorado album by ELO either in very late June or else July first or something. (prior to the 4^th) Of course I bought “Blizzard of Oz” at the same time but I have always blamed El Dorado. I’m going to get back to this a little more later, but one thing I did not do that I was tempted to do is to relive all those events by writing it down, which I was half tempted to do, because it would make an interesting Blog, and another long one. The thing is with my Blog readers I haven’t gone into the obsessive detail that I used to do on my many “snail mail” letters to the media. Those recipients have a whole lot better what I’m talking about. The next time I have to shovel through that much shit hopefully it’s a hospital job working as an orderly with a bright Medical carrier ahead of me- and we know that’s not going to happen. In my snail mail letters I portrayed myself as committing suicide in late November by throwing myself on the railroad track and having a train run over me. I got this inspiration from sound effects on a Blue Oyster Cult album. After this you never saw the name Guy Owens on a media mailing from me in a long time, because I was dead. And there was even a trial about it in April I dramatized where others made me do it. But after a while I admitted to being alive but I was off in Chicago having intensive therapy from a Dr. Bleishtaff. I don’t think the name Guy Owens surfaced again till about late summer of 1983. So whenever I do the “long form birth certificate” it’s going to have a lot of details on it that don’t comport entirely with the snail mail stuff “the public” sees, just like the President’s long form doesn’t agree with the “public record”. Right now they called coffee break as “La Bamba” fades out. I better hurry.

I just barely made it to get the last coffee and rushed back up here. I waited because I wanted to hear “Things we said Today”. That’s a Beatle song I never get tired of. This morning I got up a bit later and got coffee from Dana. I had KABC on and went to breakfast. We had Raison Bran and I decided I’d use sugar today. Loretta says she’s going to church again. I asked her if that couple still comes Sunday nights and she says they still come but then don’t announce it, to keep out the riff raff. I’m sure if I were nice about it Loretta wouldn’t mind my attending but I’m not sure I want to. So we had the usual fried eggs and toast and butter ect. Newt Gingrich was on Meet the Press. There is a relic from the past that young voters regard as a “new face”. I guess that’s how the Beatles stay in business. But the credibility gap of these Republicans is a little laughable. Even Newt himself in the early 1990’s said he was in favor of precisely the sort of health care program the President passed last year. And of course Mitt Romney’s big success story is a health care program just like the President’s. And Newt makes all these weirdo statements with a racist tinge to them like “people who were born in Kenya have grown up with this anti-Colonialist bias that’s contrary to the American tradition”. And he says “President Obama is known as the greatest Food Stamp President of all time” and there are zone zingers about the city of Detroit, with some vague anti M0-Town bias. And apparently the reason for his two failed marriages is that “I’m a busy man who works hard politically and perhaps I got too involved”. That’s one way of putting it. One time he said “It was a mistake of my youth” even though he was in his fifties at the time.

Of course I had Beatles on later. John Lennon talks about unsetteling dreams but the thing is in latter 1981 I told Laura that I’d been having dreams lately about all my teeth falling out”. And Laura responded, “That’s funny, I’ve been having those kinds of dreams, too”. “How Do You Sleep At Night” just might be about multiple people. For instance the verse about “A pretty face may last a year or two, but pretty soon we’ll see what you can do” could be about Donnie Osmond. (“Department of Youth” anyone?”) But I had to take strong issue when they said that “Sometime in New York City” was not a good album. It’s quintessential Lennon. It’s John’s best solo album. (“Venus and Mars” is Paul’s best solo album- - obviously it’s “All Things Must Pass” for George (now a recent three posting blog) and for Ringo it’s “Goodnight Vienna” of the albums of his I’ve heard. However Ringo-Rama and Choose Love” may well be better.) They talked about Paul and George having “musical backlogs” that were intended to be Beatles song, but John’s brain had been swept cleaner than Raphael Hernandez on Days of our Lives. He started fresh after his “Primal Scream” treatment. And by the way Yoco completes John. John can’t be really John without Yoco. John’s two worst albums were “Rock and Roll” and “Walls and Bridges” made without Yoco’s influence. In fact as you know I have perported to have a lot of conversations with John Lennon after he died. Someone reading the transcript of all this dialog might well say “You know- - something is missing in Lennon’s personality that just isn’t quite right”. Then “ding” a bell will ring and they’ll exclaim “It’s YOCO”.

. I was going to call the blog either DEAD ON ARRIVAL or else HERE COME THE ASSHOLES. And it could be argued I was one of those assholes myself. Let me conclude by giving you the “short form” Birth Certificate version of that period in the 2nd half of 1981 What’s that saying, “Calgon, take me away!” or “Where is Jess Ryder when you need him?” I’ll be very brief. It started in terms of bad events- - a day or two after the 4^th of July when Marcus Arelius, Pete Richards, Bill Gunderson, and David Snow and perhaps a fifth person (as I recall it was an all male crowd) went to Magic Mountain and we came back in the evening about dusk and our dog Toby had clawed off the back door screen in a hysterical panic. We could chalk it up to being around the Fourth, but the dog did the same thing after a trip to the LA Zoo we took in late July. Toby was having some sort of a nervous breakdown. There was event after event- -that betided me – ah but let’s jump - - let’s jump to December. I was going to mention October 24^th as a “bad day” but the stream of negativity kind of ended just days before Christmas when I received a windfall I had about given up hope of ever getting, that really took a load off my mind - that had been weighing on me for at least several weeks. “What was it- - a renters rebate check?” “No, not that”. (money worries are a bad thing) Sometimes being a persistent jackass pays off if the other side sees they can't win. Of course this period wasn’t all bad. There was a wedding in there. Sometimes you want to do the deed before the devil gets his boots on to try and stop you. Marriage is good. Of course if you’ve even been married you know a secret that it doesn’t mean you “leave your old life behind” and the day you’re married start a whole new life” just like that. You’re still the same “person” you were the day before. (It’s not like you just got baptized or something) What I mean by that is that “Life goes on” and there are still the same social entanglements and obligations and just the day to day interaction and commerce of life. John endeavored to describe this phenomenon in one of the Beatle’s Christmas messages. It may have nothing at all to do with the relation between you and your wife. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I really didn’t find happiness sill I was to a degree able to separate the present from my “old life” that wasn’t all that long ago. I just had to back, off, Jack, and let other people lead their lives, and I would lead mine. So basically I’d like to come full circle and just say that right in the here and now I’m not doing badly. Why not just let sleeping dogs lie. So I have a dream about “another life”. Don’t worry about the what if’s in life. Don’t borrow trouble. Sure when my Mom dies there’s going to be a whole Pandora’s box of problems and challenges opening up. But that day isn’t today. I’m going to blog most of this but surgically snip out a few sentences. That personal stuff? Of course at times editing can be deceptive. Politicians run into problems all the time saying how they were quoted out of context. This happened with John Lennon. There is a prominent interview I’ve heard “the long version” of. Unfortunately they are airing the edited version of the exact same interview where he appears to be saying the exact opposite thing from what he’s actually saying. “You know the one I mean”, John. But this whole thing about a new marriage and other people still thinking they Own you- - “OK, I get it”. Not cool. December of 1981 was basically a better time for me than the previous five months. Due to the hour and lunch being upon us I’ll post this after I get back.

- - - And Thanks To The Late Mark Campbell for all of his invaluable support of me during this period. And I value him as a writing collaborator.

"Stop Dragging My Car Around" -WEIRD AL YANKIVIC

PREVIOUS POST ADDENDUM: It has come to my attention that readers are associating another event that occurred in late May of 1955 other than the one I was thinking one, about a vow to never return to a certain city in Mississippi. I don't remember that as the disaster the authors portray it as. I had in mind an event a lot closser to home- - About the break-up with a certain girl that went- - Very Badly. In fact if there was a newspaper headline "The Greatest Fool of them All" it would have her picture right above it. And believe me with her looks she can't afford to be too picky about who she chooses to throw under the bus. And I bet there a lot more fans that agree with me rather than the media spinmeisters.

ANSWERING QUESTIONS MOST PEOPLE DON'T THINK TO ASK

First here's a late update: Ron Paul today has declared his candidacy for President like for the third time. He says he wants to cut expenditures and not have people be so dependant on "The Nanny State". In a perfect world I wouldn't mind that one bit. The trouble is that we have so much economic inequity in the population now that I say "The government got us into this mess so they can darn well get us out of it". When that happens I'll vote for Ron Paul for President. I am typing again tonight because my roommate is spending the night with his wife. His wife is like fifteen years younger than he is and it's the sort of thing where you say "How did a guy like him end up with a girl like her, especially when she's a spicy Latina. Another woman's husband named Gary comes and visits here regularly and he seems really protective of her. Some have said when informed they were going out to dinner, "Hey why don't you do something afterwards, like have sex". The woman seems perfectly sane and normal to me so I don't get it.

One line in that list of song lyrics that "pushed the envelope" which I failed to include was a gem from the Dead Kennedies that goes "You say you have the Answer; you don't even know the questions". The thing wrong with Dr. Levy's oft repeated question of "What do you want out of the rest of your life?" is that it ought rather to be re-stated "What is Preventing you from getting the things you want in life". As you know as a Scientology afficianado I believe in engrams, and have spoken of them often. Now days they are popularly known as "thought viruses". My hope would be that this is a step tword public enlightenment in general. Back in the 1980's was when I first got the idea one might carry engrams from Other Lives with him. I wanted to talk just a bit more about duffelgangers. As I understand the term it's most often a "double" that precedes you to a location where you are to meet people by a few minutes. So that when you really get there they say to you "But you were here a half hour ago" or whatever. Often in legond, the duffelganger will carry some prophetic news, perhaps of an unsetteling nature, which later comes true. In the case of the Nun in that convent, she really wasn't going nuts, there were really two people. Sometimes you think you're the one going nuts. People have these "senior moments". I never had a "senior moment" till I began taking Zyprexa back in the late fall of 1999. Then I began having trouble remembering names. Just the other day I was trying to think of the name of this heavy set dark haired guy from Chateau who went to Green Harbor, and often dominated conversations. I finally found his name was Victor. Then I began looking for other references in my writings for "Victor". And I kept running into this soap opera situation where Victor was one of the characters. I was completely baffled. A few minutes later a light bulb went on and I remembered "Oh, Victor Kiriacus from Days of our Lives". But for those few minutes my mind had done a total mental disconnect. Sometimes with old people they forget whole conversations. I reckon myself as one who has a good memory. However- - - . Take July 1991 I go into a Subway and order my usual sandwich, and the friendly lady at the register says "Oh, I know what you always have- - chocolate chip cookies!". I doubt I've ordered chocolate chip cookies there in my life. I had similar experiances with other cashiers during that same summer. It was in January of 1992 when I kept trying to reach "The asshole from El Paso" to resolve some issues. He kept seemingly trying to stall me off and not answer phone calls and not see me in person. Finally I was able to state the problem and he said "Oh, we've already resolved that issue". What can I say? "No we didn't. I'm been trying to reach you now for ages. My housemate Jim Cooper back in the early 'eighties- - - sometimes I'd bring up an issue of import to me and he get pissed and say "We talked about that before and I told you thus and so and you would agree" when if I had broached that topic before I would have remembered it. Let me put one anxiety of yours to bed. Remember when I said something like "I might not have become a born again Christian but this entity called Burt Lombard took over". Well that's not true because later in my writings after that date I Still expressed some of the same downcast doubts about family life I'd had before. Clearly I basically was "the same person" before and after "conversion". Nothing like "The Holy Spirit" took over my life, like they all say. What happened in September of 1977 (a kettle drum roll would be appropiate here) was that my environment changed. Wayne Dyre not withstanding- - it's the people around me who changed, not me. Suddenly I was adding things up and at least "seeing the light" perversely speaking. You know Jim Cooper has a lot of good traits. He's optimistic and sanguine in groups, he's very fair in monetary dealings, he's consciencious and a hard worker, and as you know his saying is "There is power in secrets". Jim places a high premium on loyalty and keeping of a confidence. However this was not enough for me not to worry as the 'eighties progressed- - that this ultra conservative Christianity was "working on his personality". Maybe it's just my paranoia. But my motto is "the more of the holy spirit a person gets, the harder they are to get along with".

So in my scitzoid view of life there are all these other "entities" with names like John Lennon, Denise "DeLovely" and Jess Ryder and Mick Ronson (that one is REAL fleeting, if at all) and oh yes "Jim Cooper" in a pre-incarnate state, meaning Jim is a walk-in. But he "walked in" years before I first met him so that doesn't matter. Let's talk about Jess Ryder, and here is another who "incarnated in the flesh" so I could meet them- - in this case in early August of 1991 after "suicide by car crash" on his second attempt around July 26th 1991. Jess' slogan might be "Life sucks- then you die". However as I survay his life with it's problems, they pale in comparrison to mine and the way I see it, Jess had a lot of things going for him. In his fleshly incarnation - -(as "Clint") OK his sexual identity to me seems a little fuzzy. He's a believer in U F O's. Once in early September of 1991 he told me what his biggest fear was, and for me not to say anything. Your secret is safe with me. He's into heavy metal music, and also into the Goth scene. Sometimes he can be a prankster. And one thing I've noticed is that he seems more confortable talking to adults than with people his own age (he incarnated as a fourteen year old) and often appears more intelligent than he is, till you get to know him. In terms of the others John Lennon of course I never met. And you know about him pretty well already. I don't want to talk about Denise, the lezbian and another "teenager" when I first "encountered" her. I don't really have any unresolved issues with her. Which brings us back to doe ray me. Jim Cooper. When "Bo" was taking over Jim's old body (before that life came to an end, perhaps prematurely for health reasons) where did Jim go. "La la land?" No, he took ME over so I could take over John Lennon. See how neat that works? I'll tell you this - if it really happened Jim was a good influence on me. When he took over in the fall of 1964 (ninth grade) my grades were in the tank. They rose significantly the following quarter. (semester break) At the end of the third quarter, counselors from school (Brookhurst Jr High) told my parents on PTA night that "I was making significant progress and becomming more all well-rounded. At the end of the ninth grade, my grades had risen significantly from the 3rd quarter. I took Pre Algebra that summer and got a B, and would have gotten an A if I'd expended any real effort. But in high school for various reasons involving vastly deteriorating family and sibling relations, even Jim's determination couldn't help me. We now jump to March 7th 1968 in my Senior year. My grades still wern't that good. I had just finished up a box of "Hi FI' recording reel to reel tape. This would be the last time I ever used that brand. The last song I had recorded off the radio was "Simple Simon Says" by the Nineteen Ten Fruit Gum Company or whatever. - - so what did my grades do the 3rd and fourth quarter of my senior year. My final report card saw a wholesale collapse in my grades with more than one "F" as I recall. It's a wonder I graduated. The one link of "piece of Hebrew cloth" that remains unexplained was one time in December of 1981 when we were going to watch the final Monday Night football game- - I think I said this- - I was meaning to tell Jim how to get to my parents house because he'd never been there before- - - and somehow he knew the way without my having to tell him. Hey we got two paragraphs to go then we're done with this madness.

OK we left off our reincarnational saga from the last file in mid 1954. Don't you want to know what happens next? Having been bounced into this present life I wasn't exactly content to stay there. For some reason "Jim" had put a "vacancy" sign on his Life. I'm not really sure why except that he felt stagnated and frustrated and just needed time to sort things out in his mind. The first thing I noticed in early July of 1954 was how hot the weather was, like a hundred or something, and it was quite torrid even in the early evening. And guess what? I was back in Memphis again so - different life but a fermiliar city. I lived in the first story of a duplex, so that it wasn't as hot inside as it might otherwise have been. One author describes it as "cramped, dark, and smelly". Another author says "He wasn't as poor as he claimed to be because his residence has both a piano and a television set". I don't remember having either. I'm sure we didn't have a television- - just radio and a record player. I was known for liking to go to the movies but there are only two that I remember and they were both Bogart movies. One was "Beat the Devil" and the other was something about a Mansion that was adapted from a Novel and they did a TV remake of it not too long ago. I'm not aware of having any lady friends but I really didn't care. I was too interested in trying to better myself. This must not have escaped Jim's notice because he wanted back in my life for August. But after one month he decided he needed to think things over a little longer. By the way this summer I resumed my interest in flying, but there is only one author who depicts me as ever having flown a plane, and that was just once. There are things a lot of people don't mention, that only I would know. Such as the time I was wandering around a Military base and was confronted by a barking German Shepherd. Another source erroniously depicts rain while driving to a certain destination, when the weather stands out in my mind as being hot and dry. By this time I did have a girlfriend, and we necked a lot but she wouldn't put out. This bothered me and I wasn't sure how long I was going to put up with it. One friend of mine wrote about about my life. Only thing is he was an Egotist he inserts himself virtually on every page and in generally was a much less significant person in my life than he imagines himself to be. However two events with him I'll vouch for. One time we broke into the home of a celebrety couple while they were gone, and we fixed ourselves breakfast and they came in and yelled at us for messing up their expensive no cookware. Another time he and I were in this hole in the wall diner, and I pulled a gun on this Sailor and threatened him and forced him to do silly stuff. If you ask me why I did it- - he just looked like a whimp and someone you could take advantage of. I don't remember Christmas or Newyears or my birthday. I remember later in January I met an influencial gentelman via a mutual friend of ours- - and according to the biography of the mutual friend- - he asked him if I were on drugs because I was so darned jittery. The friend said "No, he's always like that". In March I remember playing football out of season with friends and spending time with my girlfriend. Then we jump to my present life. Where the thought hit "Having multiple lives is normal- but maybe this one won't turn out so bad. Back in late May (?) 1955 I remember an event I thought occurred earlier but experts say it is here. I went to an event that turned out so disasterously I swore as long as I lived I'd never go to another event like this again. And I kept my word- - in this life. I was living in a better residence by now. There was another notible event that authors like to blow up to way more spactacular than it was. Kind of like Stephanie Miller's orgasums. But we turn to another friend of mine- who I actually was a lot closser to than the other individual. This man did an audio recording- - and is pretty dead on accurate on all the aspects of my life he knows about. We come to July of 1955 and I knew the end was coming. I went into a recording studio and recorded two songs, both with secret messages. One song the Beatles did for the BBC but on the song George sounds like he's had a few too many qualudes. I tinkered around with the beat of this song in a way that had apparently never been done before. The other was more of a fast folk song, but still has a "message". Another event was that I found out I had gotten a girl pregnent. She was a brunette and vaguely Mexican looking and often left along to take care of her younger siblings. I heard she had a girl. But I wasn't sure how to react to the news and one time in the car turned the radio loud while she was talking. But I would have done the right thing eventually if the choice were up to me. But "Jim was at the door. And I kind of said, OK I'm out of here- have a nice life". But first we have just one more event - buying a new house. This one was just in a cracker box neighborhood. (by the way "Cracker Box Pallace by George Harrison needs to be added to that ZAC list) Only the driveway on the left side of the house broke the monotany, leading to the back of the house where the garage was. Oddly this is one of the first memories I had of this life.

Let's talk about Howard Richards whom both Jim and I knew. Jim obviously knew him as me. Maybe he also knew him elsewhere. Contrary to snail mail, Jim did not work for Howard in Chicago but Jim was originally from Covington, Kentucky. From about June of 1973 till the end of his life at the end of 1975 I saw him a lot. I remember one time outside on the upper plazza at Cypress when Law Enforcement class was on a break in the fall of 1973, Howard and I were talking about the "Rum and Cola" girl, whose name is Darian, which is the same as that lady in the Wall Street movie. (but that's another story) Howard was in shirt sleeves sipping on an iced Coke. It was freezing that evening and I was cold, though dressed much warmer. I saw Howard sporadically from February of 1970 to March of 1971 and I also saw him in the summer of 1971. He told me he liked Mc Cartney but positively hated "Ram" and he didn't like "Imagine" either because of the line in it about there being no heaven and no hell. When I went whacko right wing in the second half of 1975 Howard pretended it wasn't happening and anytime I'd bring up the subject he'd sluff it off. In retrospect I wish he'd confronted me how much I'd changed. Let's work back in our backward trek to when I first met Howard. In my drug induced mind I remembered the New Mexico trip with a side trip to Juarez, Mexico. That was in late August of 1966. That spring and summer I remember going to a lot of pizza parlors. Howard liked pizza. On April 9th of 1966 I hadn't known Howard very long then and I remember brother Al saying, "Just don't do or say anything stupid". I remember that Easter week Pete Richards was complaining about an "evil black cat" eating all his lizzards. We can go back further to March. March 30th was his birthday and I learned he was born on the same date as Roger, only two years earlier. In 1948. I remember being confused as to whether Howard should be a senior or what. I'm not sure why he was in town. Both Al and I thought he was super cool. He had a flashy red car that I think was foreign but I don't remember clearly. This is about the same time batman had been on the air for a few months and so was "Secret Agent Man" by Johnny Rivers. I liked the "Revolverish" lead guitar in it. I remember in English class we were doing Julius Ceasar and the Idea of March. The aura of death was around even back then. I remember learning he was a distant relative, only adopted and his real father was from Birmingham, and I think I said something like "That sounds Irish or something". Maybe the first time I saw him was late February when "Drive My Car" and "If I Needed Someone" were playing on the radio. I remember thinking "These are old songs, recorded way back in 1965 but they didn't use them for some reason". Apparently Paul's original lyrics were "Baby Baby, I Love You" for the corus, but John saw that as a bunch a crap and said something like "Let's you and me redo the lyrics and together write a new bunch of crap". And that's how we end.

THE MANY LIVES OF MARCUS ARELIUS

A guy on the patio just called me a mother fucker for drinking part of his diet Coke. The can had been sitting there for fifteen minutes and nobody was claiming it. If you're looking for National Affairs this is not your posting. Let's kick off with something you see on a lot of shows and that's the topic of Dofflegangers. One of the strangest cases of this is when the transporter beam split Will Reiker into two people on a Star Trek episode and the one fell back down to the planet and the other went back up to the ship. When the wayward Reiker was rescued he was of a lower rank and the first day on the job he got up late and was admonished roughly by the senior Reiker as though he were just another rookie. I cannot even imagine how a human soul could be "split" into two competing egoes. Of course on Days of our Lives you have the two Raphael Hernandezes. But in my case the idea was put forth to me that- - - this is a classic- - - a baby mix up at the hospital. Only here with a twist. Not only was one baby perfectly healthy (apparently) and the other baby underweight and sickly with a lot of neurological problems- - but they were born two months apart. Anyhow this other individual was code named "Bo" by the Federation but they say his given name was Dorian. I have done postings on Dorian. My latest reconing is that "Bo" died by drowning off the Palos Verdies penninsula - - best evidence now suggests in late August of 1956. So he lived a short life. And he was the older, healthy baby. In the first month of this blog, Rocca Rolla, I relate dreams I had about Dorian alias "Bo". But here is another twist. (as if you wern't expecting one) "Bo" actually occupied my body as a small child from birth to at least June 30th 1954, and most probably longer, sporadically, for the next year or two. "Me" didn't enter my current body till that June 30th 1954 date, or very soon thereafter. So the older, healthy child existed as "Dorian" his first several years and then was occupied by "Bo" sporadically the last two or so years of his life. Now "Dorian" was re-incarnated in July 7,1988 under the "Ice Cream Phoenix" project, I spoke of previously.

So what kind of a life did "Bo" live and how come his mother was in the same hospital my mother intended to use to give birth. Well, Bo's mother led a very secretive life and traveled around a lot. While austensively a devout Catholic who went to private school (don't you wonder about these people who travel so much and attend elite private schools, like our President?) she seemed adept at deception and lying to people for an alabai to make her many "escapes". Dorian would have been her third child, if you don't count the misscarriage, and the only one while married to her ten husband who wasn't a girl. I think this is significant because boys seem pray to more genetic problems than girls. This mother has admitted to under age drinking, and I mean under eighteen. If her life was as desperate as it sounds (however I must stress, not economically) then a resourceful woman like her would take steps to protect herself. My guess is that she did a Rosemary's Baby type thing and decided to sell her child to a Satanic cult for the promise of a batter life in the future, which by the way, she got. In 1989 I spoke of the Medeteranian style house with the screened in patio where she'd have the cult over and one of the bearded members would play the accerina. (not the "recorder") She could have been doing any number of things in LA, perhaps getting a recording contract. She lived "somewhere in the deep south". We'll let it go at that. The Cult did not keep the baby but sold it to a party who was headed to another part of the country, in the northwest. I reported that dream in an early posting where I report being in Medford, in Eugene, and in Portland. But also of being in "southern Westchester" close to the Airport. And yes there is a lot of other detail you can read about. If you've read them you know the mystery man "Bo" (in whose person I was dreaming)
was traveling with. This man had "other uses for Bo" and being Dead did not preclude his usefulness. (no not THAT, you AC fans) He was useful to posess the body of Jim Cooper (which is my name for him) though in this life he obviously went by another name, which I'm being secretive about. Most of the "posessing" of Jim Cooper's body took place from late April of 1964 through to at least March 1968 or maybe April 1968. "Jim" can't be happy about the way someone else screwed up HIS life. But this theory is not unique to me. Others maintain that "Jim" was given drugs to zombee out and thus be more "managable".

REINCARNATIONS Let's go back in time through all my "Lives" since 1896 there abouts. I was born into the life of a future famous author and basically lived a happy life for the first seven years till 1903. I left that body in Buffalo around September, and "Bo" took over my body. Bo had come out of a ghastly prior life in Austrailia I'm not even going to talk about. "Bo" must have been perswasive and so I said "fine" and I incarnated myself into a new, freshly born life. Unfortunately he met his death in Chicago in a famous gun fight around July 24th 1934. Jim Cooper was one of my best friends in this life. He also got gunned down a few months after I did but he found a new host unborn fetus almost immediately. I decided I wanted "Bo's" life back. Maybe I had propriatory rights or something but Bo didn't put up a fight. The Federation named him Bo because I think it was his wife in this life that called him "Bo". Anyhow if I hadn't already done so I think I divorced that wife and took up a sexual affair with a vulluptuous blonde in North Carolina for several years. I spent the last three years of my life in Los Angeles. So if as a kid some areas "already looker fermiliar to me", that's why. It sure wasn't some sort of genetic memory from my Dad. Anyhow I decided to resume my writing which had become stalled and had almost completed another novel when I died of a heart attack, oddly enough just walking over to a local drug store one cool December (?) evening.

After this I reincarnated as what would have been a two & a half year old toddler named Robert Ranjel, or however you spell it. He lived in a nice house in Bellview, Washington- - and contrary to the lone biography on him- - he lived there all his life. My earliest memory, oddly enough would have been when I was three & a half. We had gone to a local pier to get some kind of supplies before breakfast or something. Anyhow I was standing on the pier looking at the half moon in the sky. Just a couple of days before my parents told me our country had gone to war, and they didn't describe it as a good thing. I had a bunch of older sisters and was clossest to the sister just older than he was. There was one memory of having to take kittens to the pound and all the siblings were in charge of carrying a certain kitten. I ran into academic problems in school and according to my biographer "began hanging around the wrong crowd". One day in late May 1951, after I had just turned thirteen, me and two buddies skipped out school to go camping by ourselves. But a few days later I met my demise because I got burried alive in quicksand and they were unable to pull me out. It had rained the night before and we sought shelter in a cave. After this was my three year "mystery" incarnation in Memphis lived from age thirteen to sixteen. I had a girlfriend who was a beautiful blonde who looked like "Megan" that Days of our Lives had on the series in 1984. (That's the story of another "Bo") Unlike Bellview where streets and places were fermiliar to me- - I can't say that about Memphis. I'm not even entirely sure whether I was white or Black, but I think I was white. What I remember most about this incarnation was the Music. And also I had an interest in taking up flying. One time however when I was in a small plane the plane crashed and everyone aboard was killed. After that I ended up here. Not literally- - but I mean in the Los Angeles area. Maybe you're all spellbound. Maybe you're looking to call a hot line and get me medical help. I was going to say more. Maybe later. What I want to do is to update you on that "Jim Cooper" life. And I also want to talk about stuff in my life in this body in the mid 'sixties. And also more about Howard. We promised you that.

This is Friday morning at 8:35 on an overcast day. Dr. Levy didn’t come this morning at eight, so I thought I’d try blogger again. While they were experiencing all their problems, I have mentally been sorting out all the “stuff” floating around my mind that I was thinking of including. Either this or the next two blogs may be sort of a “Revolution 9” where you not only have to deal with the “stuff” in your own brain but like some of the writings I’ve been doing in my battles with various people in the past (can you believe it “the nineties” is the past) but I also have to enter into other people’s brains in attempt to figure out what makes THEM act the way they do.

You know if I never existed- - most of “The Zachery Myth” would still be “out there” in various song lyrics, if you know where to look. Sometimes “the Zachary Narritive” makes definite departures from what I know to be Reality. I asked Mal Evans about this the other day. Mal himself is “no longer a Believer” and hasn’t been since at least the fall of 1985. Nonetheless I asked him if the “Cannon of Scripture” couldn’t be “tidies up a wee bit” to get rid of certain things like mothers feeding their children raw meat or Robin being a cocaine user - but Mal said a gentle but firm “No”. There is thus “The Myth”, which seems to stand alone by itself, thank you, quite apart from reality, or me or you or anybody else believing it.

PRESIDENT OBAMA is leading Newt Gingrich by eighteen percentage points now. Newt Gingrich "Treeted" his desire to be a Presidential candidate on Wednesday May 11th. Strangely he is only 67, in spite of my thinking of him as some Reagan relic from thirty years ago. The President is leading Huckibee by 17% points and Romney by 16% points in head to head trial runs between Obama and his opponents. But now even a "generic republican is losing bad to the President in polls. Obama is now at sixty percent himself, which is a wonderful thing for him and over 70% view him as good on national security. The President has definitely got his mojo back. But now people on the right are saying that the CIA director, Leon Peneta, authorized this raid without the president's authorization because "He kept refusing to make a decision" and that on Sunday morning May first the President was literally pulled off the golf course to be told about it.

DONALD TRUMP has apparently done a popularity melt-down and is now fourth place behind Sarah Palen, who hadn't even shown in earlier Republican polls of ten names or more. The leaders in a four day old Republican poll are - Huckibee, Trump, Romney, Palin, Gringrich, Paul, Buchanon. Tim Polente, Santaurum and Huntsman, more or less in that order. But Haley Barber or that Christie guy from New Jersey and most notably, Michelle Bachman - didn’t place. Something is really inconsistent. Micheal Bachman is still considered a serious candidate, however. “She does not have a specific date in mind when she’s going to make that announcement. She’s getting closer to making a decision, but again, that [the May 26th announcement] was just a rumor,” the aide says. This is Michelle Bachman.

Well when it comes to the Mississippi, the battle of Memphis has been won. The crisis point came on Monday when they were worried about more rain. First they were worried about all the water mockisons biting people. Now their big concern is that the soil is so filthy that it has infected countless homes. Now we move on to battle in Vicksburg. The video snagged twice, which isn’t good. In the next video the buffer went in fits and starts. Anyhow now we've moving on to Baton Rouge, where they will have to do another of these "sacrificing of small towns and farmland to save big cities". So they are going to deliberately open the floodgates so as to "prevent a disaster bigger than Katrina from striking New Orleans.

Did You Know that the Republicans just passed a law in congress that if you're going to sue an oil company for an ecological violation or something else, you have to sue in just one court, the Fifth Circuit Court, which is located in the South and contains nothing but judges that are in the back pocket of the oil companies. I have trouble believing that. These companies who have millions in recent profits, now say they need millions more in tax subsidies, or the jobs will go away. Thom Hartman's other thought for the day was the hope that civilizations of the world will eventually "Get It" and lay down their arms and make peace with each other. I will say this. Demographically the Republicans have a ticking time bomb on their hands after the Latinos continue to grow as a percentage of the vote. Bush got 40% of the Latino vote, but now that has shrunk to near nothing. And 2012 may be the election that it happens. It's always been my feeling that this anti government trip we've been on all these years will be given up for saner pursuits- and instituting comprehensive heath care.

We aren't done with the madness. Stay tuned for a lot of "cleaning out the brain" specials. Just be glad that we are on the outside of the Glass Onion looking in and haven't yet stepped through the looking glass to experiance the illusion first hand and to actually become part of the madness. Below is a list of albums and songs. Some may say that "Burt Lombard" invented the ZAC. Well - - Mal Evans was instrumental in "point out" all the lyrics of various songs. Names in all caps are Groups, the ones in first Cap letters are Albums, and those with quotation marks around them are individual songs. Here we go.

EAGLES-----Desperado-----On the Border-----One of these Nights----Hotel California

QUEEN-----Sheer Heart Attack-----A Night at the Opera-----News of the World

DAVID BOWIE-----Ziggy Stardust-----Aladen Sane-----Diamond Dogs

THE ROLLING STONES-----Between the Buttons-----Flowers-----Satanic Majesty's Request

BOB DYLAN-----Freewheeling-----Highway 81-----"Bob Dylan's 115th Dream"

ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA-----El Dorado-----"Fire on High"

PAUL MC CARTNEY-----Band on the Run-----"Deliver Your Children"

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN-----"Born to Run"

BOB SEEGER-----"Those Hollywood Nights"

ELTON JOHN-----Mad Man Accross the Water

PINK FLOYD-----Shine On Crazy Diamond-----Dark Side of the Moon

JEFFERSON STARSHIP-----Sunfighter-----Dragon Fly-----Red Octipus

JETHRO TULL-----War Child

BLONDIE-----Parrellel Lines

THE BEATLES-----"It's All Too Much"

LED ZEPPELIN-----"When the levy breaks"

THE DOORS-----Soft Parade

PROCOL HERUM-----"The Final Thrust" (Procol's Ninth)

RUSH----"2112"

BLUE OYSTER CULT-----Fire of Unknown Origen-----Specters

BING CROSBY-----"Do You See what I See?"

As Captain Queeg said after his testimony "If I left anything out just ask me about it". The whole Zachery thing was labeled as "Opperation Tonny" (after the Who album) but that term didn't originate till 1986, which was way "late in the day". Also Robin is code named "Blue Bird" however though tradition says she has blue eyes, personally I don't even remember what color Robin's eyes are. With these psychotropic drugs I take I'd forget my own name if it wasn't on my "Computer Class" card. Some song lyrics are a little scrambled such as "Bohemian Rapsidy", "Stone Cold Crazy" "Desolation Row" and "Is It True?" In terms of Elton John we have the line about "Jesus blows up balloons all day long" and "He wants to go to Venus and leave his father far behind". There is an assotiation with balloons ans Zachery such as the saying "Acid - - Incense - - and Balloons" and also the day Friday and Venus play a big part in ZAC theology. The only song that alludes to his birthday of 9 / 5 / 75 is Procol Herum, or the fifth song on their Ninth album. "With your long blonde hair and your eyes a blue". You know after George did that song he says "That's the last song I did under the influence of drugs. Then I gave it up as a false revelation". Of course you have the persistent myth of a "Seaside Rendesvous" at some Amusement Park with roller coasters and pin ball machines. "The hysterical bride in the penny arcade - screaming- she moans - I've just been Made". Some from the Federation have suggested Santa Cruz.

I was going to talk a lot about Howard Richards. So much of this myth involved him. But you know this blog is just too long already. It's just another thing that we're going to push on over to the next blog. Except that Howard hated sailing and was proud of his "America's Heartland" heritage. And he wasn't a "Mad Man" and I don't know if he ever sailed to England or visited Birmingham. (more on that connection some other time) Just to anticipate one question, "Good Company" is about Pete Richards - and his first wife. I just added in two groups and one of them is "The Greatest Rock and Roll Group of all time". Can't forget them. This week I've been writing down a lot of thoughts that I would consider too personal and unsuitable for blogging.