'LET THE DUMB CLUCK BAIL HIMSELF OUT'

- SIGNED, THE OLD WAR HORSE

-Agnes Moorhead

There are only two episodes of "Bewitched" where a spell was never cancled. One was on that tightwad guy who suddenly began spending money. Samantha had overhead the wife saying "I don't know what's gotten into my husband but I hope it never wears off" - so she decided to Leave It On. The other was the fact that artificial grass can never be zapped into their yard. Of course you know what President Eisenhaur said on election night in 1960 before the polls had closed out west don't you? He said "Like an old war horse smelling the smoke of battle, I just couldn't keep quiet". That's like me with this file. There is stuff in the last file I feel a compulsion to clarify a bit but before we get there we're going to take you on a little Acid Trip. So grab a hold of your saddle horn because "Gypsey Lou is back doing it again". Captain Piccard has a saying that applies with this file, "In for a penny - in for a pound". I'm like a cat that's just killed a bird. But he won't eat it but just picks around with the carcus, playing with it. Of course it's worse when the bird isn't dead yet. Do you like music? Well there is a lot of music discussed in this file- - real AND imagined. It's just like that old Camaflogue game on channel 7 when I was a kid and they promoted it as "Can you win by identifying something that's right before your eyes?" The truth is out there- - we've just taken elaborate steps to desguise it. Like the saying in The Wall, "You'll just have to claw your way through my desguise". Or as Paul Lynne put it once, "You know, I have to be honist with you- - behind this clown face- - - Is another face!" And he would just keep pealing off face after face driving Darren to frustration no end.

In mid summer of 1981 I used the alias "White Horse Productions" on some of my mailings I claimed to be from Henry (as in "Henry the Horse") or perhaps from the song 'Mr. Crowley". Of course I've used a lot of aliases such as "Assylum Earth Evangelical Project", or maybe it was Burt alias Nick Ronson who came up with that one. Then there was the BBC in late Dec 1980, which stood for "Baal Berith Confederation". Then there was CREAM for "Committee for the Removal of Evangelical Assholes from the Media". Mark came up with that one. And then there was an old one, ZEBRA. I'm not gona tell you what that one means but when I told my Dad what it was he said "It sounds like some organization advocating sexual relations with animals". Hey, it might be a good gag on a night talk show. Also the term "White Horse" dates back to the time of my Romulan friends. (here's that imaginary part I was talking about) A White Horse Souse was the last CMK album that Richi Vallenz worked on in early August of 1973 before he left and struck out on his own. The term was not original with us, but was taken from one of those old "Bloopers" albums of gaffs o old f radio announcers, instead of "A White House Source". Of course I talked a lot about Richi Vallenz and other Romulans and the whole bit quite a lot back- -well, I'll tell you - my WORD files underwent a transformation back around the first of July in 2004 and I have referred to this period in blogs. This is the era when I wrote the "Moon Shot" file I've shared with you - - that fictional story. This "transformation" in my writings that summer of 2004 is something I can't explain but just before it happened, Marlon Brando died. But I don't think there is any causality. But just a little more about Richi Vallenz and FH, two good Romulan friends- - - FH was a singer who did a number of songs that remind me a little of John Lennon. The ones that stick out in my mind are "You Better Move On", "That girl is Mine" and "Do You Want My Love?(or are we through). Richi with FH singing, and Black Bart on drums did a version of "Well, Well, Well" (from the Lennon album) that never made it on a CMK album that was better than the original with a lot of fantastic overdubbed guitar playing. The very first time Black Bart was used as a drummer for Richi was a recording of the Yardbirds B side "Got To Hurry" I think was the name, that can be found on the Crossroads CD compilation - - which was the last song ever that Eric Claptin played on. Our version was actually better than the Yardbirds version because the engineering was better, but the guitar playing was every bit as good, and actually raised higher in the mix. But this song never appeared on a CMK album either.

Just call this PINK FLOYD kind of file. I remember the first Pink Floyd song I heard, it was in September of 1967 and it was "See Emily Play" and I thought "This group is too far out for me". Are there any Yoco Ono fans out there? How to you feel about "John, John, Let's Hope for Peace" from the Live in Torranto album? A couple of better freak-outs than that are "Free Form Guitar" on Chicago's first album and "Tacotta" by Emerson, Lake and Palmer. In terms of my own history with playing in Rock Bands, it's apallingly limited. Back in early 1965 I was invited by a friend to join a band called "The Morticians". "But I don't have a guitar" I said. The friend said, "I've heard you sing. You can be our lead singer". I didn't join. Then there was that impromptu group that played at a Christian pool party in June of 1987. Henry kind of organized that. If you know Henry in my writings he's almost always associated with something bad. We rehearsed a number of songs with me on the Porta Tone keyboard. The trouble is when we got there we began playing songs we hadn't rehearsed. Henry had tried to pull a fast one on me to embarrass me. But guess what? I was able to figure out the chord progressions almost instantaniously, and played right along. And then there was that short lived band, if you can call it that in August of 1967, that I was in with Pete Richards and Larry Mc Needly. Pete and Larry had been in another band months earlier called The Ants. I really wanted th call this new group "The Boston Tea Party" but thought there was another band by that name already. The music we did pressed the freakedelic limits- - and in my mind it was uniquely innovative. But I don't have those tapes any more I don't think. They might be in Bill Gunderson's garage- - - but I think there was some weak moment at my Mom's house when I said she could throw the reel to reel stuff out because I would never be able to play it. So I'm not really sure.

Finally we come to the reason for this Concert. You know- - I don't mind giving an Imcomplete impression- - but it bothers me when I give a Wrong impresssion. I usually like to carefully "sculpt" what I write so that it "makes just the right statement". But last Sunday I was caught up in this whole John Lennon thing and I think I invariably gave the impression that after I got married I lost all interest in the rock band I was in and regarded playing in it as drudgery. This was not the case. Although I will confess to a little dread at going back to that old BOSC neighborhood after I was settled in another house. It was kind of akin to going back and visiting your old high school after you've started college. It kind of seemed a step backwards. Actually it was about the first of May of 1981 when Jim and Henry talked about this wayward home for teenage girls that was up a couple block in our tract. I don't know how they came to know them but I had dinner at that house a couple of times. I remember all the Martha and the Vandellas records. Anyhow at the time Jim was a bass player in this band. (He did not play lead guitar as I say in snail mail) In fact I'm not sure how good of guitar player Jim really was. I don't recall being very impressed with him when he played accoustic guitar around the house. Henry also owned an accoustic guitar but I never heard him play it. If I ever played I still used that old electric guitar I got for Christmas in 1966. By now the pick-up was getting a little flakey, but I managed, or maybe I replaced it. I don't remember. Any how - - the lead singer who also played a guitar left the band and there was an opening for a rhythm guitarist and a singer. I could do both but I couldn't play lead such as you'd care to hear. The real power house behind the band was the lead guitarist, who was a big, burly fellow. Henry was friends with the drummer. It was the drummer who told me they had thought of calling themselves "The Dead Lennons" only they were worried other people had already used that name. (I imagine there are quite a few) I sang mostly AC DC stuff and a lot of Black Sabbath and the like. I don't think we ever had a paying gig, but we did play a few free engagements. I wanted to call the band "Ozzy Osmossis and the Gro-Lux Band" after artificial lighting used to grow pot, but that never caught on.

(Roll Kettle drum) I was married Friday August 14th. I may share these details later but not today. It was very soon after that that Jim Cooper announced he was quitting the band because he thought that kind of music was incompatable with his newfound Christianity he "had decided to get serious about". Any time you hear "getting serious about the LORD - Look out". Hell, I said- - we can play without a bass player. Then of course the dog got sicker. The last outing to the park we took with Toby was on September 16th of 1981. I believe the group consisted of Pete and his new girlfriend - and myself, and Vicky, and perhaps Jeane Hayse. The girlfriend has met my Mom and neither one liked the other. My mom regarded her as kind of a scitzoid flake who was syrupy sweet one minute and cold and distant the next. This is an oppinion I heartily second. Anyhow soon after that I lost my job in landscaping. I immediately sough out another job. I went down for a job in Anaheim City Hall in some clerical capacity but I never heard back. I applied for a job working at the Montgomery Ward in Fullerton [correction was made here] as a cashier but the guy immediately said my hand writing wasn't legable enough for the job. I associate this interview with the song "Hoover Factory" by Elvis Costello. I had just recently baught that album and I bought a B O C album at the same time- - I think it was "Fire of Unknown Origen". Anyhow I went to CETA for a job- - but they were either closed down or would be within a day or two. Chalk that up to Reaganomics. On October 12th 1981 me and Pete Richards took the dog Toby to the Vet"s to have the dog euthanized. The doctor said that Toby probably had leishions on the brain and it was pretty hopeless. As far as the band was concerned- - now the lead guitarist quit the band, too, but he did give a week's notice so we could play some gig. Then there was just me and the drummer. And Henry urged the drummer to quit. About this time I wondered if Mark Campbell might want to join the band in some capacity. He has such an excellent speaking voice I told him "I bet you could really sing good with a little practice". But as brash as Mark is for making shocking statements in private, on this occasion he was suddenly as shy as a thirteen year old girl on her first date. He turned me down, but also told the drummer not to listen to Henry and stay with the band and get some other members. I appreciated Mark's vote of confidence. But the band broke up. I was now out of a job as well as out of a hobby- - - and the memory of a dead dog. It was early November when my TV began acting "possesed" and the picture would whig out. But every time I'd take it in to have a guy look at it he'd say "Gee, the TV works fine in the shop. Maybe it's your electric current there". So a lot of times I'd go to the BOSC house to watch TV. Jim was the one who began calling Toby, "Tobosc". After the dog died Jim shortened it to BOSC. There were now boscs living at the BOSC house. Often Jim would put an OSC at the end of a girl's name as a term of endearment, as if to say "I regard you as one of us." So there would be Sylviosc, and Dilliosc, and Gloriosc. And believe it or not we've come to the end. Hope you like this file.