ANSWERING QUESTIONS MOST PEOPLE DON'T THINK TO ASK

First here's a late update: Ron Paul today has declared his candidacy for President like for the third time. He says he wants to cut expenditures and not have people be so dependant on "The Nanny State". In a perfect world I wouldn't mind that one bit. The trouble is that we have so much economic inequity in the population now that I say "The government got us into this mess so they can darn well get us out of it". When that happens I'll vote for Ron Paul for President. I am typing again tonight because my roommate is spending the night with his wife. His wife is like fifteen years younger than he is and it's the sort of thing where you say "How did a guy like him end up with a girl like her, especially when she's a spicy Latina. Another woman's husband named Gary comes and visits here regularly and he seems really protective of her. Some have said when informed they were going out to dinner, "Hey why don't you do something afterwards, like have sex". The woman seems perfectly sane and normal to me so I don't get it.

One line in that list of song lyrics that "pushed the envelope" which I failed to include was a gem from the Dead Kennedies that goes "You say you have the Answer; you don't even know the questions". The thing wrong with Dr. Levy's oft repeated question of "What do you want out of the rest of your life?" is that it ought rather to be re-stated "What is Preventing you from getting the things you want in life". As you know as a Scientology afficianado I believe in engrams, and have spoken of them often. Now days they are popularly known as "thought viruses". My hope would be that this is a step tword public enlightenment in general. Back in the 1980's was when I first got the idea one might carry engrams from Other Lives with him. I wanted to talk just a bit more about duffelgangers. As I understand the term it's most often a "double" that precedes you to a location where you are to meet people by a few minutes. So that when you really get there they say to you "But you were here a half hour ago" or whatever. Often in legond, the duffelganger will carry some prophetic news, perhaps of an unsetteling nature, which later comes true. In the case of the Nun in that convent, she really wasn't going nuts, there were really two people. Sometimes you think you're the one going nuts. People have these "senior moments". I never had a "senior moment" till I began taking Zyprexa back in the late fall of 1999. Then I began having trouble remembering names. Just the other day I was trying to think of the name of this heavy set dark haired guy from Chateau who went to Green Harbor, and often dominated conversations. I finally found his name was Victor. Then I began looking for other references in my writings for "Victor". And I kept running into this soap opera situation where Victor was one of the characters. I was completely baffled. A few minutes later a light bulb went on and I remembered "Oh, Victor Kiriacus from Days of our Lives". But for those few minutes my mind had done a total mental disconnect. Sometimes with old people they forget whole conversations. I reckon myself as one who has a good memory. However- - - . Take July 1991 I go into a Subway and order my usual sandwich, and the friendly lady at the register says "Oh, I know what you always have- - chocolate chip cookies!". I doubt I've ordered chocolate chip cookies there in my life. I had similar experiances with other cashiers during that same summer. It was in January of 1992 when I kept trying to reach "The asshole from El Paso" to resolve some issues. He kept seemingly trying to stall me off and not answer phone calls and not see me in person. Finally I was able to state the problem and he said "Oh, we've already resolved that issue". What can I say? "No we didn't. I'm been trying to reach you now for ages. My housemate Jim Cooper back in the early 'eighties- - - sometimes I'd bring up an issue of import to me and he get pissed and say "We talked about that before and I told you thus and so and you would agree" when if I had broached that topic before I would have remembered it. Let me put one anxiety of yours to bed. Remember when I said something like "I might not have become a born again Christian but this entity called Burt Lombard took over". Well that's not true because later in my writings after that date I Still expressed some of the same downcast doubts about family life I'd had before. Clearly I basically was "the same person" before and after "conversion". Nothing like "The Holy Spirit" took over my life, like they all say. What happened in September of 1977 (a kettle drum roll would be appropiate here) was that my environment changed. Wayne Dyre not withstanding- - it's the people around me who changed, not me. Suddenly I was adding things up and at least "seeing the light" perversely speaking. You know Jim Cooper has a lot of good traits. He's optimistic and sanguine in groups, he's very fair in monetary dealings, he's consciencious and a hard worker, and as you know his saying is "There is power in secrets". Jim places a high premium on loyalty and keeping of a confidence. However this was not enough for me not to worry as the 'eighties progressed- - that this ultra conservative Christianity was "working on his personality". Maybe it's just my paranoia. But my motto is "the more of the holy spirit a person gets, the harder they are to get along with".

So in my scitzoid view of life there are all these other "entities" with names like John Lennon, Denise "DeLovely" and Jess Ryder and Mick Ronson (that one is REAL fleeting, if at all) and oh yes "Jim Cooper" in a pre-incarnate state, meaning Jim is a walk-in. But he "walked in" years before I first met him so that doesn't matter. Let's talk about Jess Ryder, and here is another who "incarnated in the flesh" so I could meet them- - in this case in early August of 1991 after "suicide by car crash" on his second attempt around July 26th 1991. Jess' slogan might be "Life sucks- then you die". However as I survay his life with it's problems, they pale in comparrison to mine and the way I see it, Jess had a lot of things going for him. In his fleshly incarnation - -(as "Clint") OK his sexual identity to me seems a little fuzzy. He's a believer in U F O's. Once in early September of 1991 he told me what his biggest fear was, and for me not to say anything. Your secret is safe with me. He's into heavy metal music, and also into the Goth scene. Sometimes he can be a prankster. And one thing I've noticed is that he seems more confortable talking to adults than with people his own age (he incarnated as a fourteen year old) and often appears more intelligent than he is, till you get to know him. In terms of the others John Lennon of course I never met. And you know about him pretty well already. I don't want to talk about Denise, the lezbian and another "teenager" when I first "encountered" her. I don't really have any unresolved issues with her. Which brings us back to doe ray me. Jim Cooper. When "Bo" was taking over Jim's old body (before that life came to an end, perhaps prematurely for health reasons) where did Jim go. "La la land?" No, he took ME over so I could take over John Lennon. See how neat that works? I'll tell you this - if it really happened Jim was a good influence on me. When he took over in the fall of 1964 (ninth grade) my grades were in the tank. They rose significantly the following quarter. (semester break) At the end of the third quarter, counselors from school (Brookhurst Jr High) told my parents on PTA night that "I was making significant progress and becomming more all well-rounded. At the end of the ninth grade, my grades had risen significantly from the 3rd quarter. I took Pre Algebra that summer and got a B, and would have gotten an A if I'd expended any real effort. But in high school for various reasons involving vastly deteriorating family and sibling relations, even Jim's determination couldn't help me. We now jump to March 7th 1968 in my Senior year. My grades still wern't that good. I had just finished up a box of "Hi FI' recording reel to reel tape. This would be the last time I ever used that brand. The last song I had recorded off the radio was "Simple Simon Says" by the Nineteen Ten Fruit Gum Company or whatever. - - so what did my grades do the 3rd and fourth quarter of my senior year. My final report card saw a wholesale collapse in my grades with more than one "F" as I recall. It's a wonder I graduated. The one link of "piece of Hebrew cloth" that remains unexplained was one time in December of 1981 when we were going to watch the final Monday Night football game- - I think I said this- - I was meaning to tell Jim how to get to my parents house because he'd never been there before- - - and somehow he knew the way without my having to tell him. Hey we got two paragraphs to go then we're done with this madness.

OK we left off our reincarnational saga from the last file in mid 1954. Don't you want to know what happens next? Having been bounced into this present life I wasn't exactly content to stay there. For some reason "Jim" had put a "vacancy" sign on his Life. I'm not really sure why except that he felt stagnated and frustrated and just needed time to sort things out in his mind. The first thing I noticed in early July of 1954 was how hot the weather was, like a hundred or something, and it was quite torrid even in the early evening. And guess what? I was back in Memphis again so - different life but a fermiliar city. I lived in the first story of a duplex, so that it wasn't as hot inside as it might otherwise have been. One author describes it as "cramped, dark, and smelly". Another author says "He wasn't as poor as he claimed to be because his residence has both a piano and a television set". I don't remember having either. I'm sure we didn't have a television- - just radio and a record player. I was known for liking to go to the movies but there are only two that I remember and they were both Bogart movies. One was "Beat the Devil" and the other was something about a Mansion that was adapted from a Novel and they did a TV remake of it not too long ago. I'm not aware of having any lady friends but I really didn't care. I was too interested in trying to better myself. This must not have escaped Jim's notice because he wanted back in my life for August. But after one month he decided he needed to think things over a little longer. By the way this summer I resumed my interest in flying, but there is only one author who depicts me as ever having flown a plane, and that was just once. There are things a lot of people don't mention, that only I would know. Such as the time I was wandering around a Military base and was confronted by a barking German Shepherd. Another source erroniously depicts rain while driving to a certain destination, when the weather stands out in my mind as being hot and dry. By this time I did have a girlfriend, and we necked a lot but she wouldn't put out. This bothered me and I wasn't sure how long I was going to put up with it. One friend of mine wrote about about my life. Only thing is he was an Egotist he inserts himself virtually on every page and in generally was a much less significant person in my life than he imagines himself to be. However two events with him I'll vouch for. One time we broke into the home of a celebrety couple while they were gone, and we fixed ourselves breakfast and they came in and yelled at us for messing up their expensive no cookware. Another time he and I were in this hole in the wall diner, and I pulled a gun on this Sailor and threatened him and forced him to do silly stuff. If you ask me why I did it- - he just looked like a whimp and someone you could take advantage of. I don't remember Christmas or Newyears or my birthday. I remember later in January I met an influencial gentelman via a mutual friend of ours- - and according to the biography of the mutual friend- - he asked him if I were on drugs because I was so darned jittery. The friend said "No, he's always like that". In March I remember playing football out of season with friends and spending time with my girlfriend. Then we jump to my present life. Where the thought hit "Having multiple lives is normal- but maybe this one won't turn out so bad. Back in late May (?) 1955 I remember an event I thought occurred earlier but experts say it is here. I went to an event that turned out so disasterously I swore as long as I lived I'd never go to another event like this again. And I kept my word- - in this life. I was living in a better residence by now. There was another notible event that authors like to blow up to way more spactacular than it was. Kind of like Stephanie Miller's orgasums. But we turn to another friend of mine- who I actually was a lot closser to than the other individual. This man did an audio recording- - and is pretty dead on accurate on all the aspects of my life he knows about. We come to July of 1955 and I knew the end was coming. I went into a recording studio and recorded two songs, both with secret messages. One song the Beatles did for the BBC but on the song George sounds like he's had a few too many qualudes. I tinkered around with the beat of this song in a way that had apparently never been done before. The other was more of a fast folk song, but still has a "message". Another event was that I found out I had gotten a girl pregnent. She was a brunette and vaguely Mexican looking and often left along to take care of her younger siblings. I heard she had a girl. But I wasn't sure how to react to the news and one time in the car turned the radio loud while she was talking. But I would have done the right thing eventually if the choice were up to me. But "Jim was at the door. And I kind of said, OK I'm out of here- have a nice life". But first we have just one more event - buying a new house. This one was just in a cracker box neighborhood. (by the way "Cracker Box Pallace by George Harrison needs to be added to that ZAC list) Only the driveway on the left side of the house broke the monotany, leading to the back of the house where the garage was. Oddly this is one of the first memories I had of this life.

Let's talk about Howard Richards whom both Jim and I knew. Jim obviously knew him as me. Maybe he also knew him elsewhere. Contrary to snail mail, Jim did not work for Howard in Chicago but Jim was originally from Covington, Kentucky. From about June of 1973 till the end of his life at the end of 1975 I saw him a lot. I remember one time outside on the upper plazza at Cypress when Law Enforcement class was on a break in the fall of 1973, Howard and I were talking about the "Rum and Cola" girl, whose name is Darian, which is the same as that lady in the Wall Street movie. (but that's another story) Howard was in shirt sleeves sipping on an iced Coke. It was freezing that evening and I was cold, though dressed much warmer. I saw Howard sporadically from February of 1970 to March of 1971 and I also saw him in the summer of 1971. He told me he liked Mc Cartney but positively hated "Ram" and he didn't like "Imagine" either because of the line in it about there being no heaven and no hell. When I went whacko right wing in the second half of 1975 Howard pretended it wasn't happening and anytime I'd bring up the subject he'd sluff it off. In retrospect I wish he'd confronted me how much I'd changed. Let's work back in our backward trek to when I first met Howard. In my drug induced mind I remembered the New Mexico trip with a side trip to Juarez, Mexico. That was in late August of 1966. That spring and summer I remember going to a lot of pizza parlors. Howard liked pizza. On April 9th of 1966 I hadn't known Howard very long then and I remember brother Al saying, "Just don't do or say anything stupid". I remember that Easter week Pete Richards was complaining about an "evil black cat" eating all his lizzards. We can go back further to March. March 30th was his birthday and I learned he was born on the same date as Roger, only two years earlier. In 1948. I remember being confused as to whether Howard should be a senior or what. I'm not sure why he was in town. Both Al and I thought he was super cool. He had a flashy red car that I think was foreign but I don't remember clearly. This is about the same time batman had been on the air for a few months and so was "Secret Agent Man" by Johnny Rivers. I liked the "Revolverish" lead guitar in it. I remember in English class we were doing Julius Ceasar and the Idea of March. The aura of death was around even back then. I remember learning he was a distant relative, only adopted and his real father was from Birmingham, and I think I said something like "That sounds Irish or something". Maybe the first time I saw him was late February when "Drive My Car" and "If I Needed Someone" were playing on the radio. I remember thinking "These are old songs, recorded way back in 1965 but they didn't use them for some reason". Apparently Paul's original lyrics were "Baby Baby, I Love You" for the corus, but John saw that as a bunch a crap and said something like "Let's you and me redo the lyrics and together write a new bunch of crap". And that's how we end.