FALSE ASSUMPTIONS I MADE WHEN I BECAME A CHRISTIAN

If God made the Universe and created me, he must love me.

If I become a Christian I’ll never in my life again be alone.

If worse comes to worse – the Rapture will be coming soon to end it all.

The moral divide between Good and Evil will become sharper and clearer all the time as Christians in the church grow into perfection and the world slips into depravity.

Historical proof of the validity of Christianity is just around the corner.

God is a utilitarian. He always seeks the best for the greatest number of people.

God will always answer any prayer that is “Really important to me”.

If you see things you don’t like about other Christians, they will grow out of it.

God will have me on a distinctly different “path” from the doomed one I’ve been on my whole life.

The Bible can be reconciled into one coherent message if you try hard enough.

Christian teachers are most interested in the intellectual and emotional growth of their students rather than their own presteige and position.

The mere fact I’m becoming a Christian is “proof” that I’ve been called by God.

Staying away from women sexually makes you a holier person closer to God.

If you see a “problem” in the Church, God saw it before you did, and he is already working on a solution more ingenious than anything you could come up with.

God will intervene in the world if “the world” becomes intolerable for Christians.

If you “Give God the benefit of the doubt” he will repay you many-fold.

God has the perfect bride for me & would never lead me into a bad marriage.

If someone appears to “shine you on” after you witness to them, God will continue to work on their spirit after you’ve gone and will eventually accept the Gospel.

Nobody would dare call themselves “Jesus Christ” and claim to be a Christian.

If you see event “A” occur- - - (such as an earthquake or something) then events B through Z are sure to follow.

Nobody ever regretted at the end of their life the fact that they Accepted Jesus.

Medical science is stuck where it is and the day is significant medical breakthrough is over and done, but Jesus will always heal.

Soon, all the really smart scientists and inventers will be Born Again Christians.

If a problem develops in your life, ignoring it is a sign of true Faith.

People who turn to insurance companies for their security- are cowards. (No, wait a minute! - - I still believe this one!)

Neither good things nor bad things occur by mere chance. (another one I still believe today)

If you “Place your bets on Jesus” it isn’t really gambling.

Some day they will find the original manuscripts of what the apostles wrote down.

If you should die an untimely death, you’ll get to Heaven sooner than you planned.

The reason why cults imitate Christianity, is because they know it’s real and they aren’t.

I will look back on past negative events in my life and see God’s guiding hand in them.

FALSE ASSUMPTIONS JOHN Q CITIZEN MAKES
ABOUT THIS POLITICAL CAMPAIGN

People are making false assumptions about this Presidential campaign, too. For instance people assume that the more right wing your position is on Iraq, the greater "insurance policy" of our national security will be. People assume that Blacks still have some of that "nigger blood" from Africa, which we all know is the most depraved of continents. People assume if a democrat takes over the white house the Supreme Court will legalize all homosexual marriages and in the process destroy the American family as we know it. People associate hating various races such as North Vietnamese, or Arab, as being a sign of burning patriotisum that will light our way as a nation in the murky days ahead. People assume if we have socialized medicine, we will become like Europe, whose manliness can always be questioned since we had to bail them out of two wars and besides they can't be real men because they don't carry guns. Housewives and mothers assume that conservative Justices will insure that our laws are enforced and they won't be raped or their children kidnapped by bad people. People assume that ANY democrat will always run up a higher defricet than ANY republican. People believe democrats want to raise their taxes and raise corporate taxes that will raise the price of everything they buy. People believe stem call research might lead to cloning humans and other "mad scientist" experiments. People believe that religion is like circumcision. "We've always done it that way" and horrible things would happen if we changed now. People believe that all the signers of the Declaration of Independance were Bible thumping fundamentalists. People believe that everything about the Jimmy Carter adminestration was America's darkest hour. People believe that the more restrictive our immigration laws, the more insurance against the rising crime rate we have. People believe the more American Flag lapel pins you have the more patriotic you are. People believe that off shore oil drilling is something the democrats will do anything to prevent but our President wants to allow it to solve our energy price crisis, but the democrats are keeping us from using that oil for false lestist pinko ecological reasons. People are just waiting for the next Republican President to free us from gasoline milage worries so that we can go back to our god given patriotic right to drive big gas guzzeling cars. People believe that strange changes in the weather are signs Jesus is coming back, rather than any sign of global warming or in any way impugning mankind for not respecting the ecology of the planet. People believe that Free Trade is good because it's "Progressive" and besides John F Kennedy favored it.

ACCIDENTAL TRUTHS OF SCRIPTURE

Scripture says that near the beginning of Jesus’ ministry he was tempted by Satan for forty days. Perhaps this is a dumb observation but what about the other thirty years Jesus lived? Didn’t Satan realize before this Jesus couldn’t be tempted?

Jesus told his disciples days before his death “Remember if you see anybody claiming to be me after I’m crucified, it isn’t me but a false impostor.

Jesus looked in vain for figs on a fig tree, but it was not the season for figs. We know it wasn’t in April because April is the season for “first fruits” in figs.

Scripture days the whole land grew dark for three hours the day Christ died. This is about the same length of a total or near total solar eclipse.

The City of Nazereth was falsely reported to be overlooking a cliff. This scene was lifted according to Luigi Cascioli from the life of John son of Judas of Galilee.

Jesus said when you pray, actually be asking for something for God and ask expecting to be given to. Do not put on a “spiritual sounding” prayer just for show or ritual.

Jesus said blessed are the poor for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

Jesus said blessed are those crusaders who seek to see good and right prevail. In other words- in today’s language- - blessed is the political left.

Jesus said, “Why do you call me good?” “There is none good but God alone”

Jesus said for his followers to sell their coats and buy a sword if they didn’t already have one.

Jesus refers to himself in the PAST tense in a resurrection speech to his disciples.

God knows our thoughts before we even consciously have them. As such it’s rather silly to say what “decisions” we will be making “on our own”.

All the gold in Solomon’s Temple was stolen by the Egyptians in an invasion of the land.

A Holy Man ruled in Jerusalem in Abraham’s day 700 years before David.

There is no record of Jesus ever making animal sacrifice at the Jerusalem Temple.

Lazarus went to Paradise without ever having had the Born Again experience.

Jesus’ own recorded reaction to his own “sin atonement” crucifixion is “My God My God why has thou forsaken me?

If Jesus received a huge amount of gold upon his birth from an Eastern King- - guess what? Jesus wasn’t poor! If he was too poor to pay a half sheckle tax he had to find in a fish’s mouth on the other hand- - I guess he didn’t know about the gold.

Why did Pilate ask Jesus where he was from? I thought he knew.

Jesus never refers to a period in his life before he turned thirty

Jesus never failed in anything in his whole life he wanted to do.

Jesus never questioned his own judgement about anything

The devil never tempted Jesus with sexual lust.

Jesus ascribed any weakness against evil as a Faith problem

Jesus never showed respect to any authority other than himself

Jesus never rationalized away failings in himself or others